bachelorette: week 3

• Ben C has a huge jawbone.
• And fluffy hair.
• Why must they always play that spooky music when Mask comes on the screen?
• Ash can't believe they all want to date her - THEY DON'T. At least one, maybe 2, don't want to.
• Dance routine? Another dumb date.
• Her definition of a flash mob = random dancing. Nope. Actually, it is this
• Ben - don't say in the middle of the flash mob dance that you looked at her then and 'knew' she was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. That's what did it for you, eh?
• Another awkward concert with swaying.
• He said this date was ridiculous. I agree, but I think he was meaning the cool kind of ridiculous, and I'm not.
• Holy hell - he is going OFF right now.
• He wants to be a bubble boy. He wants to live in a bubble.
• JAW.
• He said ridiculous again. I agree, again, the other way.
• Wow, I think that freaked her out. I don't even think she can comprehend him.
• Did he just say 'emoticon'? Don't.
• Is he drunk? He' talking awfully fast and about living in a bubble.
• Haha, she just specifically said she is totally following him and I'm pretty sure she's not. She is staring off like she is watching a butterfly.
• Oooh, snap. That was a definite closed mouth kiss.
• When I love, I love hard? What does that even mean?
• Birds chirping, squirrel eating a chip, WTH is going on?
• Oh, it's mask man, on the balcony, opera music.
• It's been 3 weeks with the mask, and he thinks "he's made his point" now.
• He is kind of like dealing with a child. He talks slowly and, um, dumb-ly....
• She blanks out a lot and stares off. Maybe it wasn't the bubble boy, maybe it is just her.
• Doesn't she see all thier pictures at the rose ceremonies? I'm pretty sure she saw all the pictures before the show, so it's not like she hasn't seen him.
• Why, why the squirrel?
• Did that eagle just poop?
• Don't take the mask off and say dramatically, "Hi, I'm Jeff" (Is that his name? I don't even know his name)
• I thought for sure there would be some sort of heat rash under there. It does look kind of jaundice-y.
• Comedy club = semi normal date for the first time.
• Did Mask just say this was "up his alley"??????
• Someone just mentioned David Hasselhoff...
• I almost wish Mask would put his mask back on.
• Jeffery Ross = porn + pedofile + driving a creepy van + cigar yuk.
• And, he is not funny.
• SPERM!!
• Why are some of them wearing suits?
• William thinks for sure he is going to jump start his comedy career right here.
• Was someones leg sitting on someones lap just then?
• Ames (SPERM) looks better with the mask.
• Funny jokes about her boobs. Yes.
• Actually, that was a funny joke Bent. You can sure put on a front.
• William, you are a dumb ass.
• Did Bentley just say "don't be stupid"? Hmm.........
• Oh, look who is acting all sensitive. His poor ex-wife.
• He says he is here for a reason. What, exactly is it?
• He just told her she is everything a guy is looking for. Except him. He hates her almost.
• That lying SOB.
• ****commercial That guy on the commercial for Verizon Wireless looks like a fat version of one of the docs I used to work for Dr. Watabe.
• ****commercial Hebrew Hot Dogs? Black cop in slow-mo, eating a Hebrew Hot Dog???
• Her boobs always have been small, she says. Makes me think maybe a pituitary disorder. That combined with the high-pitched voice spells out no puberty yet.
• Was that supposed to be an apology from William?
• A normal person would say "I'm sorry. It was dumb; I thought it'd  be funny, and it wasn't. I am so sorry I hurt you." But no, he has no choice but to leave? He is actually leaving, walking down the road.
• Sheesh, he is kind of over-reacting.
• Is Mask talking about a 3 legged dog?
• He is running. Physically. Where is he going? My hell, he kinda got crazy on us there.
• There are some whack-jobs on this show....
• Is she wearing fake eyelashes?
• Man, she will kissy kiss anyone.
• Poor J.P.
• V-NECK x3 in that scene. I'd send all 3 home just like that. DO NOT WEAR V-NECK'S IF YOU ARE A GUY. Unless you are gay.
• Of course Michelle Money is involved in this dirty scheme.
• His tie is freaking ugly. Don't fight with me, not one person on earth could tell me his tie looks good.
• He really isn't that hot. I don't know why she's so whooped. His hair is out of control; and to make matters worse, he likes his hair. He is a sweet talker, I guess.
• Did he just say it doesn't apply here? HOW does it not apply, Bentley? She is directly talking about you, now, being here, right now, with her, for the wrong reason. I'll say it applies. Idiot.
• She fell for it.
• If he choses to leave it will be harder than last season? That is bold.
• What exactly is Bentley doing?
• ****commercial  I'd be fine if I never heard/saw Jennifer Hudson again.
• There she goes, meandering through the pebble garden, contemplating.
• I am really starting to think Mask is handicapped.
• Rewind that, really. Listen to his conversation of him with Bent in the room while he is packing. Handi?
• Bentley's nose from the side is BAD! Rhino!
• Why, J.P., are you not wearing a shirt? You have girl boobs. Like sagging nipples.
• Haha, A friend just texted me and said Bentley reminds her of a Cooper (Lehi family, if you don't know......hehehe).
• ****commercial Arby's: don't say 'shroom'. That phrase should only be used by druggies.
• Did Bentley just say "poop it out"?
• He can't talk. Sounds dumb, like school dumb.
• Wow. He can't seem to stutter through the lie.
• WOW, WOW. WOW.
• I bet he doesn't even have a daughter.
• He always ends up in a laying down position.
• Did he just almost have sex with her? He seriously wanted to. Really. Really?
• I wish Emily would make a statement publicly saying she thinks he is an ugly mean jackass and hopes he would die.
• What a creep.
• "It's annoying to hold a crying girl. I kissed her neck. A lot actually."
• He was full on trying to get a little boo-tay in on this break up meeting.
• Pretty sure that was fake rain as he was leaving. He wasn't wet. The van wasn't wet. Yep, fake. For drama?
• J.P., the sweetheart, says she looks gorgeous. No, she looks like hell.
• What is she wearing? She hasn't touched her hair since Bentley left. It is still in a shuffled side flappy pony.
• She's talking with her mouth full.
• I like J.P.
• Just call off the damn date - you look like hell, it's not fair to him, blah blah. Come on.
• Glasses?
• She almost looks cuter in her jammies. My friend Amanda has those jammie bottoms.
• Rose ceremony - what is she wearing? Cape?
• Mask + her with cape and wierd dress and dumb necklace = Phantom of the Opera
• I have seen enough of her upper thigh to last my whole life.
• She looks like a hooker.
• Mask = dumb. Slow dumb.
• CREEEEEEPY eyes, put the mask back on!
• Who the hell are those 2 guys with the longish hair? They look like wet rats.
• My dad just said "Once you have black, you never go back!" LOL
• She is bow-legged.
• Dumb, almost cartoonish bowtie on one of the long-hairs.
• Oh, I guess one of them is named Constantine. Oh, yeah, he is the one I told not to part his dumb hair last week.
• SPERM.
• PUT THE MASK BACK ON - FOR THE LOVE.
• I hate Nick's satan chin hair.
• Sad, I thought Chris was cute/normal.
• Haha, Mask got lost in the garden on the way out.
• The phrase "This is the perfect place to fall in love" has been used 12,000 times on this show.
• Last scene with Bentley doing his hair and Mask pooping and reading classifieds outloud. I cannot even comment. $100 for a boat with no engine? Do you think it is worth it?

       What. The. Hell.