Bachelorette week 4: Phucket!!

I couldn't get past this outfit, so I had to start with it.



It pretty much took me a good 45 minutes to get past this little diddy she pulled together. Mind you, it is a WIFE BEATER, CUT UP THE MIDDLE, and TIED like you used to do when you were trying to be sexy in 2nd grade. Wow.

 

To sum the season up thus far: bad production, bad dates, stupid drama, trashy, an annoying Maine accent, a departed Mask, and an assholeio from Utah.

Someone was heard saying: "The ghost of Bentley's diskishness still haunts week 4, and probably will the rest of the season." Well said.

Ok, here we go:

• Ash is putting her "bAst foot forwAArd" (best foot forward)
• Don't say man claws
• Wow, Nick looks like hell. He has red bags under his eyes. What does that even mean?
• Ryan P - I am undecided on you.
• West makes a good point. He hopes she can get the hell over Bentley and get on with it. Well, she can't, and then, she sends you home. So, there you have it.
• It's 2011, do we really need cattle in the streets of Thailand?
• She is going to a 'navigator' to get advice on what to do dressed like a hooker. And, pretty sure these dates were planned out about 3 months ago. Useless scene.
• Ok, one on one is Constantine. They are going to a private beach in the middle of a tsunami.
• Nevermind, this guy, is doing a mime show (a boat sinking, a tiny mouse died, groups of men hugging)???

• I guess they got it, because they are just going to go walk around town.
• No interpreters? Million dollar production, extravagant dates, wine everywhere you look, but no translator. Huge oversight.
• "There is no where better than Thailand to start over"??? I beg to differ. Just to name a few, Denver, CO, Nauvoo, IL, anywhere in Hawaii.......
• What the wife beater. I can't take it.
• She thought Bentley was it? 3 weeks into it with about 10 minutes of conversation? Deep Ash.
• ****commercial My hell, Nick needs that Este Lauder skin tone evener stuff.
• Don't. 2 of the guys just gave each other knuckles.
• Constantine (man that is long to type) just fanned his shiny sweaty face with the date card.
• Yeah, this humidity isn't good for Ashley's hair.
• Or his......
• Woah, I'm pretty sure that Thai man riding the trike thing didn't have any LEGS.....!
• She keeps saying things are cute. No, none of it is cute. It's all a bunch of nick-knack shit.
• He's really trying. Good. I think I like him.
• Minus the hair.
• Mick-dog?
• Constantine has a cute personality.
• "Axactly" (exactly)
• Prediction: Constantine is more the friend type.
• **** commercial Wow, the clerk on that Wendy's commerical was really really ugly. Like enough that I am putting it in this post.
• ****commercial I cannot even express in words how dumb the Jim Carrey penguin movie looks. I almost just quit this whole thing and walked out of the room.
• It is sprinking outside (my house) and the TV is cutting out. Grrrrrr.
• She has said cute now about 35 times. Op, 36.
• Good point on the "he can define the difference between the excitement of a extravagant date and the excitement of a real normal day"
• She said it - he's more friend material
• JP said "chaps my ass" LOL
• Wow, they are both sweaty and moist. Must be hot.
• "PerfAct" (perfect)
• I like her ring
• Despite his hair (I know I keep bringing it up, and I will continue to do so), I like him.
• TV is cutting out........
• Wow, check out his sweet arms when he is lifting/frolicking with her in the ocean.
• RAIN
• ****commercial Newtons fruit thins?? They called it a cookie. They must be mistaken, because to me, it looks like a sad cracker that has blueberry flavoring in it.
• **** commerical Sofia Vergara looks like a pig in that Pepsi commerical. Bad.
• More rain
• "dAvAstAted" (devastated) Man, that Maine accent with the "A's" is killing me.
• Love JP.
• They are all impressed she chose the orphanage date. FYI boys: she didn't. I guaran-dam-tee she didn't chose it. She wants to show her thigh and make out, not paint an orphanage.
• Wow, she looks a lot better with her eyelashes on. That sentence doesn't sound right.
• Cute idea, although kind of a wierdo, of Ben F to paint a picture.
• She didn't "make it possible" - the producers did. And it was probably primarily to make up for all the trash that has been going on in the 3 previous weeks.
• See, she is all pissed because no one is flirting and everyone is working.....
• Has anyone ever noticed there are hardly ever any black contestants? And if so, they get sent home quick. Maybe they should have a black Bachelor next time. Just sayin.
• WTH is she wearing? Looks like a bad attempt at something cute.
• She was 'buzzing' around you a lot Ben?
• He said it again!? Don't
• I'm glad William has shut the hell up this episode.
• Is she trying to keep her hair wet? Sweating? What?
• Well, the 3 guys standing there yapping about everyone they don't want to get the rose for sure aren't getting it.
• ****commercial Yes! A Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts movie! Looks good!
• ****commercial Plump eyelash = sex? I don't get it.
• JP just sat her right down in the mud.
• SWEAT
• He got shy. So cute. I used to do that with Benj when we were dating all the time.
• Oh, wow, they are getting pretty down and dirty here....

• RAIN
• Ames: I'm hoping the date card is good news? What the hell else would it say? Sorry, you are pretty ugly and I think you should just go....

• Blake is having a hard time with Ryan. Really.
• Breaking rules, calling foul play? Is this soccer?
• Wow Ryan, that was pretty desperate -slash- dense of you.
• ****commercial Again, funny Samsung spider commercial. Gets me every time.
• ****commercial Kevin James, I expected better from you. Talking animals?
• ****commercial Fergie is not ok. Not good. Nooo.
• Yeah, I think Ames is gay. Or something. "Different" is the word she used, I guess.
• Zero social skills
• Everyone is constantly wet in this episode.
• The last minute is the best minute? What about that last struggling breath you take when you die?? I bet that minute sucks. Dumb saying.
• Why the hell is she laughing?
• Witty? Am I missing it?
• I don't think he is trying to be funny, and by some stretch of her tiny imagination, she thinks he is.
• Phucket is the pArfect place to fall in love.
• Did she say bath water?
• He speaks very intelligently. I don't know how to take that.
• What. The. Hell. are they eating? I thought it was ice cream, put I'm pretty sure it's not.....
• He is interesting. Wierd.
• "intangible"?
• "expAct" (expect)
• HUGE difference without her eyelashes.
• He just reminded me of Eric on the Little Mermaid.
• Why is she laughing at him? It's not funny.
• Of course he's been to Thailand. Twice.
• SPERM! Hammerhead?!
• Oh, he has no list, eh?
• I think his high opinion of her is a little premature.
• RAIN
• Don't say "indeed"
• Why the hell is she laughing?? They must be cutting out some of the conversation.
• Man, she sure looks different on the confessionals. Non-wet.
• Yeah, he confirmed it. No one, not even him, thinks he is funny.
• Much less drama this episode.
• ****commercial That guy on the Cymbalta commercial looks exactly like Ronald McDonald but with gray hair. Creepy.
• Ashley "lAft" (left)
• That back drop looks like pretzels. Mmmm, pretzels.
• She wants to see which ones can potentially break her heart? Duh
• Her lip pursing is enough to make me want to slit my wrists and do pushups in saltwater.
• West is sweaty too. Reoccuring theme, apparently.
• After that conversation, I clearly think he is ready. And nice. And worth a try.
• Nope, not ready = go home.
• She's an idiot.
• She's fishing for praise.
• I like Lucas - southern man.
• "How do you plan on keeping the passion alive?" Trick question. Let's just make-out.
• Blake is really focused in on Ryan this week. I don't think he has even mentioned Ashley once.
• Ryan, you didn't get that.

Me? Annoying?

• It has nothing to do with your happiness. You are ANNOYING. He is clearly saying it.
• "You can't hang with the fact that I'm freaking happy a lot? I'm sorry I'm not grumpy a lot!" Comparison to soldiers in Iraq????????? IRRELEVANT!
• Kind of sad. I thought there would be more behind that nice smile and bubbly persona. But nope, just a chest, bursting with love, like a Care Bear.
• WTH is that backdrop behind the bitching Blake? Ikea showroom?
• I always wonder where/when Chris Harrison picks up the knife to ding dong that glass. Always.
• ****commercial Your hair is 10x stronger after 1 use? That is kind of bold to say.
• Ashley: there is a dot dot dot, the door is open. No: The door is shut, and there is a period. And he is also laughing at you.
• Whoop - just saw her crotch there
• OMG! She's adding another rose! Look at the looks on thier faces! Jaw dropping!
• Speaking of JAW - almost forgot about him. Man, someone ought to study his freaking skull when he dies. Something is wrongo-bongo.
• He looks like one of those cartoon drawings you get of yourself at like Lagoon or something where your features are all exaggerated.
• William = short
• Bad choice on chosing Nick.
• Oh for hell sakes, half of them look like they are going to throw up. Stop it.
• Vest = NO
• Sad. West. He's ready. Seizure. Bathtub. Die.
• She looks down her nose with her chin up a lot. You feel me?
• Awkward to watch him get into the car about it
• She was worried about 'filling shoes'. Brad, too, was worried. And that isn't working out so much.
• Cheng Mae is the pArfect place to fall in love.
• Ohh, a fight in the next episode??! Hospital? Ashley upset? No!
• If Bentley isn't back to tell her the truth I'll be pissed.

Thanks for listening.

P.S.
Em - Amanda, if there are typos, don't text me about it. It's late, just leave me alone.