Juan Pablo says he wants to find someone who is a good example for his daughter. I hate to break it to him, but the Bachelor Mansion is *probably* not the best place to find that.... I like Sean. I like that the producers are making Juan Pablo take english lessons, his accent is as thick as my thighs (and ultimately causes a problem later in the rose ceremony). They do the obligatory "bachelor-running-shirtless-lifting-weights-etc clip that we can all do without, and throw in a shower scene, which was very unnecessary. I think it is cute that his fam and daughter are staying in LA about it. I thought it was cute to do a Photo Booth and a dance party. I hate that the cement is always wet.
So I watched the desperate Sunday night pre-show and the first episode and I'm having a hard time getting my groove back (damn ECT), so here goes my first extremely judgmental post of the girls.
Andi Dorfman
Age: 26
Hometown: Buckhead, GA
Occupation: Assistant District Attorney
I actually think she is adorable and is one of my top 3. Dorfman is an unfortunate last name however. Maybe that'll change?? Also, I am SO OVER ombre.
Nikki Ferrell (Left)
Age: 26
Hometown: Kansas City, MO
Occupation: Model, Pediatric Nurse
I also think she is normal. I want to be a pediatric nurse kind of. Could they not find a picture of her alone?
Renee Oteri
Age: 32
Hometown: Sarasota, FL
Occupation: Realtor
Apparently they are putting them in a certain order, because the first 3 are my favorite 3...... This is the single mom I think. She could sway to a trashy looking girl easily, needs to be careful. {Scraggle hair} I think it is cute that he calls her "mama". The first time. The next few times was more like "Ok, is he drunk? Does he really think THAT IS his mama?"
Clare Crawley
Age: 32
Hometown: Sacramento, CA
Occupation: Hairstylist
I don't really have anything to say about this. She is really pretty and looks like a typical hairstylist.
Cassandra Ferguson
Age: 22
Hometown: Detroit, MI
Occupation: Freelance makeup artist, former Detroit Pistons dancer
Finally, some material to work with. Where do I start? First, WTF are you wearing??? A cat shirt? Bad pose, bad lipstick, or maybe it is just the shirt making it bad. This is the girl that when they met it was an awkward silence *birds chirping* Annnd, what they are saying here with the "occupation" is that she does her friends makeup and used to be a dancer? Me too, sista, me too.
Sharleen Joynt
Age: 29
Hometown: Heidelberg, Germany via Canada
Occupation: Soprano opera singer
I'm baffled here. This is the first impression rose girl. Is she Asian? She seems very uninterested in not only JP (I am going to refer to him as that because I hate his name and refuse to type it) but in the whole show. Also, I kind of think we should keep this show American. Not Canadian, and for sure not German. BUUUT, her dress was really pretty and I thought it was cute that he noticed and told her.
Chelsie Webster
Age: 24
Hometown: Columbus, OH
Occupation: Science educator at Center for Science and Industry
Her get out of the limo "chemistry" stunt was really lame. I think she is pretty when she doesn't smile. Smile = gremlin. Isn't a "science educator" just a teacher? Huh huh? I am undecided on her, she kind of bugs me but is kind of normal.
Christy Hansen
Age: 24
Hometown: Chicago
Occupation: Hairstylist, marketing manager
I don't have much to say here. I don't remember her from the first night (or was she the one in the white dress and headband with TONS of bronzer?). Eh.
Victoria Lima
Age: 24
Hometown: Boca Raton, Florida via Brazil
Occupation: Legal assistant
I feel like this was planted because she is Spanish-ish. BOOB.
Kat Hurd
Age: 29
Hometown: Scottsdale, AZ
Occupation: Medical device sales
Um, why is she wearing that? I bet she sells a lot of "medical devices"....
Amy Long
Age: 27
Hometown: Clermont, FL
Occupation: Swimsuit model for Body Glove
I do not remember her. Soo..
Kelly Travis
Age: 27
Hometown: Buckhead, GA
Occupation: Executive Assistant at Choate Construction
She looks normal here but don't let the looks deceive you. This is the dog lady. They said on the show her occupation was a "dog lover". Don't.
Elise Mosca
Age: 27
Hometown: Forty Fort, PA
Occupation: Teacher, pageant girl
Well. Are they all swimsuit models? Her boobs looks big and semi-saggy on the show. Is that seriously the name of a town??
Lacy Faddoul
Age: 25
Hometown: San Diego, CA
Occupation: Nursing home owner
I hate her shirt/blazer and something is just off with her for some reason. Starting a nursing home at age 20 is kind of cool I guess. Watching the show I just wrote down "BOOB".
Amy Jokinen
Age: 31
Hometown: From Orlando, FL, currently lives in LA
Occupation: Actress, massage therapist at the Four Seasons
WHACK-FREAKING-JOB. And I am still bugged that she rubbed oils all over his suit. Oh, and the whole feeding him breakfast fruit baby airplane style in the promo thing - NO BUENOOOOO.
Lucy Aragon
Age: 24
Hometown: Los Angeles via Santa Barbara
Occupation: Model
Another whack-job. She went from a "free spirit" to a model? Can someone get her some tweezers, pot, and shoes?
Alli Restko (Center)
Age: 26
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Occupation: Nanny
I don't really remember her either but it bugs me that they are putting pictures with other people. In this case I can see why, it makes her look cute compared to the other 2....
Alexis Morgado
Age: 24
Hometown: Tampa, FL
Occupation: Corporate communications manager for family's spice company, Tampa Bay Lightning girl
That occupation is a little iffy.
Christine Llano
Age: 23
Hometown: Miami, FL
Occupation: Office support specialist at Miami-Dade Police Dept.
I hate this picture.
Kylie Lewis
Age: 23
Hometown: From Chicago, but lives in Rockford, IL
Occupation: Interior designer
This poor girl is the dumb ass who heard the wrong name and eagerly started walking to get her rose... and then got sent home. She looks like a horse/transvestite here. On the show she had red hair and pink lips and dress and I am glad she is gone.
Lauren Higginson (Right)
Age: 25
Hometown: Edmund, OK
Occupation: Land and Mineral Coordinator at WestEnergy LLC, swimsuit model
Another swimsuit model. Bad complexion in real life. Her little intro clip was not good, she comes off as really unstable and desperate. Staring longingly at her wedding dress and ring, watching a wedding secretly from across the bay. And guess what? She ends up very unstable and goes home. She would have been cute. I have ready that she has "come out" and accused the producers of making her look more crazy than she was. You can't make that shit up sweetie. I know a few good counselors if you need one.
Val Eredia
Age: 26
Hometown: Sutter, CA
Occupation: Personal trainer
I pretty much hate her. This is the one they show on the farm talking to the goats, where she tells them "ugly ones need love too", making a bitchy reference to the girls on the show. She says 300 times "I am pretty", which makes her not pretty. Pretty sure this one was planted, and de-rooted.
Ashley Poe
Age: 25
Hometown: Denton, TX
Occupation: First grade teacher
I think she went home so it doesn't matter. Boobs look weird here (low and big?)
Lauren Solomon
Age: 26
Hometown: Austin, TX via Clinton Township, MI
Occupation: Piano music composer, concierge business owner
She looks like she is 35+ to me. Really granola looking and nerdy. A midwife? Piano stunt was eh.
Maggie Gantt (Left)
Age: 24
Hometown: North Augusta, SC
Occupation: Cosmetologist turned personal banker
Again with the picture with multiple people in it. This occupation is killing me. I could say I am a "balloon artist turned medical office supervisor turned crazy person"? Don't.
Chantel Forrest
Age: 27
Hometown: San Diego, CA
Occupation: Account manager at Otis Elevator Company
The obligatory black girl (I know, I'm a bitch). She rubs me wrong. I hate this picture and that carpet. I hate that she introduces herself by telling him how to pronounce Chantel.
Danielle Ronco
Age: 25
Hometown: St. Louis, MO
Occupation: RN at St. Anthony's Medical Center, model
This person doesn't look familiar to me. However, this does look like a bridal photo session and she also looks like she is going to kill me. So, there you have that.
That's all I have. I will be better prepared next week.
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