Well, it's time for the obligatory 'make fun of the guys based completely on their picture and bio' post. Bottom line: there are at least 3 that are probably gay, which I find strange. I find it also interesting that ABC wants their shoe size.
Andrew
Age: 30
Occupation: Social
Media Marketer
Hometown: Portola Valley, CA
Height: 6'1"
Shoe
Size: 10
Tattoos: None
Favorite Magazines: Automobile,
Robb Report
Favorite Breakfast Foods: Eggs, Oatmeal, Berries
Favorite
Foods: Macaroni & cheese, shrimp, crabs, seafood in general,
chicken, turkey, vegetables
My take: sounds boring. And apparently, he likes most foods.
Bradley
Age: 32
Occupation: Opera Singer
Hometown:
Grosse Pointe, MI
Height: 6'3"
Shoe Size: 13
Tattoos: None
Favorite
Holiday: Christmas
Favorite Magazines: People, The Economist, Wired,
Opera News, GQ
Three All-Time Favorite Movies: It's a Wonderful Life,
Braveheart, Spaceballs
My take: borderline gay looking. Rosy cheeks and fluffy hair. Not a fan of the opera thing, that really didn't seem to work out last time.... Also, here is a youtube video of him singing, just to make your day shittier. Your'e welcome.
Brett
Age: 29
Occupation: Hairstylist
Hometown:
Warminster, PA
Height: 6'3"
Shoe Size: 12.5
Tattoos: None
City
or Country: Hmm...love both!
Three All-Time Favorite Movies: American
Pie, Step Brother
My take: are there male hairstylists that aren't gay? Won't answer the city/country question = grow some balls and answer the damn question. He likes classy movies.
Brian
Age: 27
Occupation: Basketball
Coach
Hometown: Harrisburg, PA
Height: 6'0"
Shoe Size:
10.5
T attoos: None
Hot or Cold Weather: Definitely Hot
Three
All-Time Favorite Movies: Hoosiers, The Notebook, Heavyweights
Favorite
Author: John Grisham
My take: You think his fav movie is really The Notebook? Also, these picture gems suggest he might be a little *light in the loafers* - you feel me?
Carl
Age: 30
Occupation: Firefighter
Hometown:
Hollywood, FL
Height: 6'3"
Shoe Size: 13
Tattoos: Several
Favorite
Flower: Lotus
Favorite Artist: Banksy
Favorite Magazines:
Details, Men's Health, GQ, Entertainment, Travel
My take: I'm worried that he thought a sweater-hoodie was the best option for this photo shoot. Also, he is obsessed with cross fit = I'm over him already. Is he wearing lipstick? And I hate the name Carl. I am actually getting pissed off.
Chris
Age: 32
Occupation: Farmer
Hometown:
Lamont, IA
Height: 6'1"
Shoe Size: 13
Tattoos: None
Favorite
Holiday: Christmas
Favorite Movies: Rudy, Braveheart, Meet
the Parents
Favorite Magazines: Forbes, farming magazines
My take: he is actually kind of cute. I'm into small town boys. Also, when asked his worst dating fear, he said accidental diarrhea, which is awesome. Oh, and he's loaded.
Cody
Age: 28
Occupation: Personal
Trainer
Hometown: Oakley, KS
Height: 5'11"
Shoe Size:
11
Tattoos: None
Adventurous or Conservative: Adventurous
Three
All-Time Favorite Movies: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,
Rudy, Good Will Hunting
Favorite Book: My Side of the Mountain
My take: Wow. He looks like Sean Lowe's long lost gay spray tanned twin brother. And I don't mean that in a good way. It makes it 300x worse that he is short. When asked if he had any tats, he responded "You wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Mercedes ..", Also used to be a 6th grade teacher, so for an extra $50 while doing your personal training, he will tutor your kid in pre algebra & english. Ewwwwww. *shudder* Translation = he is a douchebag.
Craig
Age: 29
Occupation: Tax Accountant
Hometown:
Defiance, IA
Height: 6'1"
Shoe Size: 10.5
Tattoos: None
Three
Best Attributes: Energetic, funny, intelligent
Top Three Movies: Tommy
Boy, The Lion King, Zoolander
My take: he has small feet. That's all I have. Here's a little bonus:
Dylan
Age: 26
Occupation: Accountant
Hometown:
Longmeadow, MA
Height: 5'11"
Shoe Size: 11
Tattoos: None
Favorite
Magazine: Sports Illustrated
Favorite Board Game: Connect
Four
Favorite Soft drink/Juice: Apple juice
My take: he reminds me of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. His 23 year old brother died last year, and his sister died in 2009. I'm guessing that will get brought up 300 times. I could do without the greasy hair look.
Emil
Age: 33
Occupation: Helicopter
Pilot
Hometown: Portland, OR
Height: 5'11"
Shoe Size:
11
Tattoos: None
Favorite Movies: Top Gun, Love Actually,
Zoolander
Top Three Attributes: Committed, open-minded and
honest
Preferred Type of Dancing: Twerking!
My take: He has that shit-eating grin on his face that makes me feel like he is a puke. Weird name. I don't know if he is *trying* to be funny with the twerking comment, but it isn't funny.
{{ What is the most romantic present you have ever given? Why?
I gave my girlfriend a card and in that card I had written a sentence about what happened that day, everyday for three months since we started dating.}} <----- font="" nbsp="">That is creepy.
Eric
Age: 31
Occupation: Explorer
Hometown:
Citrus Heights, CA
Height: 6'0"
Shoe Size: 11.5
Tattoos: None
Favorite
Actor: John Turturro
Three All-Time Favorite Movies: Back to the
Future trilogy, 28 Days Later, Up
Greatest Achievement to Date: Scoring
in the 99th percentile on the Dental Admission test...or the backflip I did off
the high dive in 6th grade
My take: this is the guy from Utah who died right after filming. I won't make fun. Although I do want to know how you make a living "exploring".
Jason
Age: 35
Occupation: Urgent Care
Physician
Hometown: Houghton, MI
Height: 6'0"
Shoe Size:
10.5
Tattoos: None
Three Favorite Musical Artists: Toby Keith,
Deadmau5, Led Zeppelin
Three All-Time Favorite Movies: Back to the
Future, Top Gun, The Great Outdoors
Greatest Achievement to Date: M.D.
You know you've done something worthwhile if you get some letters after your name.
My take: Sounds like a conceded prick of a doctor. Typical. His hair looks like my freaking hair. He attended school at the American University of the Caribbean (is that a real place?!) He is getting old. He looks like the twerp little brother of Brad Pitt.
JJ
Age: 30
Occupation: Pantsapreneur
Hometown:
Hanover, MA
Height: 6'5"
Shoe Size: 14
Tattoos: None
Three
Best Attributes: Driven, Creative, Huggable
Three All-Time Favorite
Movies: Alice in Wonderland (the old cartoon version), Willy Wonka &
The Chocolate Factory (the original), Wet Hot American Summer
Greatest
Achievement to Date: Starting my own company and sticking to it through the
hard points
My take: Another flaming gay one. If the sweater didn't clue you in, his occupation will {he makes ladylike, weird pants for a living. See here. There are shots of him roaming the beach in mint green fitted capris, if you know what I mean...}
Age: 29
Occupation:
Telecommunication Marketer
Hometown: Evergreen, CO
Height: 5'11"
Shoe
Size: 10.5
Tattoos: None
Adventurous or Conservative:
Adventurous
Three All-Time Favorite Movies: The Godfather, Old
School, any James Bond movie
Greatest Achievement to Date: Completing
my first marathon under my target time
My take: He is a tele-marketer?
Josh M.
Age: 29
Occupation: Former Pro Baseball Player
Hometown:
Tampa, FL
Height: 6'2"
Shoe Size: 13
Tattoos: Three
Pets:
One; American Bulldog
Three All-Time Favorite Movies: Gladiator,
Troy, Wedding Crashers
Greatest Achievement to Date: Being drafted
in the 2nd Round (48th overall) in the 2002 Major League
My take: EYEBROWS. I love when they list their occupation as being "former" - doesn't that just mean unemployed?
Marcus
Age: 25
Occupation: Sports
Medicine Manager
Hometown: Medicine Hat, Alberta
Height: 6'2"
Shoe
Size: 12
Tattoos: None
Three Favorite Musical Artists: Third
Eye Blind, Coldplay, Enrique Iglesias
Three All-Time Favorite Movies: Robin
Hood (1991), Good Will Hunting, Fight Club
Greatest Achievement to Date:
Leaving for Europe after graduating high school and turning pro in soccer
My take: He is young. His music picks are alarming. He used to play pro soccer, and we know how Andi loves that!
Marquel
Age: 26
Occupation: Sponsorship
Salesman
Hometown: Rialto, CA
Height: 6'0"
Shoe Size:
10.5
Tattoos: Three
Three Favorite Musical Artists: Michael
Jackson, Usher, Lil Wayne
Three All-Time Favorite Movies: Coming to
America, Wedding Crashers, Moonwalker
Greatest Achievement to Date: Earning
my Master's Degree.
My take: I am a total bitch. There has to be a black one on the show to show equality. His feet are small for a black man, but that music list....
Mike
Age: 29
Occupation: Bartender Hometown:
Guilderland, NY
Height: 6'1"
Shoe Size: 10.5
Tattoos: None
Three
Best Attributes: Charisma, sincerity, open-mindedness
Greatest
Achievement to Date: My engineering degree
Three Favorite Musical
Artists: The Black Keys, The White Stripes, Led Zeppelin
My take: LOL. This also looks like my hair, on a bad morning, after I haven't washed it for 2 days. He says:
{{ If you could do/have any job in the world, what would it be and why?
Mine -- it's fun, it's easy, I get to meet lots of people, I get to ski every day while working and I get summers off to travel. }}
Bartenders get the summers off? And get to ski on shift?And make enough money to travel the world? Interesting. And just to make you all a little more uncomfortable:
Who doesn't love a good pedofile 'stache?
More accurately my hair.
Age: 27
Occupation: Pro Golfer
Hometown:
Chicago, IL
Height: 6'0"
Shoe Size: 9
Tattoos: One
Adventurous
or Conservative: Adventurous
Favorite TV Show: Family Guy
Three
All-Time Favorite Movies: The Great Gatsby, Goodfellas, The Shawshank
Redemption
My take: I don't really have one. Weird facial hair. He kind of looks like a dick, as shown here:
Age: 33
Occupation: Software Sales
Executive
Hometown: Waukesha, WI
Height: 6'2"
Shoe Size:
10.5
Tattoos: None
City or Country Person: City
Favorite
Flower: A rose...duh
Three All-Time Favorite Movies: The
Shawshank Redemption, Dumb & Dumber, Snatch
My take: I'm kind of neutral here. I think is is cute, in a little boy kind of way.
Patrick
Age: 29
Occupation: Advertising
Executive
Hometown: Clinton, NJ
Height: 6'4"
Shoe Size:
13
Tattoos: One
Three Favorite Musical Artists: Drake, Foster the
People, AWOLNATION
Favorite Actor: Paul Rudd
Greatest Achievement to
Date: Playing soccer in England and Italy
My take: another soccer player. I wonder if ABC was trying to be funny so they could make soccer player jokes? He's a big boy. He reminds me, from his pic and other bio online, of a preppy jerk from Highland/Apline when I was in high school.
Ron
Age: 28
Occupation: Beverage Sales
Manager
Hometown: Nahariya, Israel
Height: 6'1"
Shoe
Size: 12
Tattoos: None
Three Favorite Musical Artists: The
Weeknd, Drake, Frank Ocean
Favorite TV Show: Game of Thrones
Hot or Cold
Weather? Hot
My take: isn't a "Beverage Sales Manager" just a fancy title for a bartender? From Israel?? Also, he says:
{{ If you could be someone else for just a day, who would it be and why?
A random dude renting jet skis on a nice island, because he's living pretty stress-free. No worries. }}
How the hell does he know anything about jet-ski guy?? I can almost guarantee if you are renting out jet-skiis for a living, you aren't "worry free".
Rudie
Age: 31
Occupation: Attorney
Hometown:
Yorba Linda, CA
Height: 5'10"
Shoe Size: 10
Tattoos: None
Three
Best Attributes: Hardworking, happy, honest
Three Favorite Musical
Artists: Talking Heads, The Black Keys, Jack Johnson
Greatest achievement
to date: Teaching myself to play music and keeping a band together for 4+
years
My take:
ME: "Hey Rudie, why don't you wear your nice button down shirt for the photo shoot?"
Rudie: "Nah, I'm going with the gay lumberjack look. Makes a good impression, especially with my lipgloss and feminine smile."
Steven
Age: 30
Occupation: Snowboard
Product Developer
Hometown: Meadow Vista, CA
Height: 5'11"
Shoe
Size: 9.5
Tattoos: None
Three Favorite Musical Artists:
Brantley Gilbert, Florida Georgia Line, Zedd
Favorite Actor: Gerard
Butler
Greatest Achievement to Date: Worked at a kids' snowboard camp
and helped make a difference in their lives
My take: He fits the typical snowboarder look. He likes country music. That's all I have.
Age: 30
Occupation: Wedding Event
Coordinator
Hometown: Denver, CO
Height: 6'0"
Shoe Size:
11
Tattoos: None
T hree All-Time Favorite Movies: The Lion
King, Gladiator, Happy Gilmore
Pets: English Bulldog named
"Tank"
Greatest Achievement to Date: Playing the main stage at
Red Rocks
My take: Uh-oh. I see red flags all over the place. And that was before I read that this guy has been trying to get on the show for years and is obsessed with it and has been banned from a bunch of websites for talking dirty and vulgar in chat rooms and comment sections.
Man, looking at this, I'm kind of nervous for Andi. She's jewish, by the way.
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