Lessons Learned - part 2

So not long after the boy was born, I put together a little list of things I'd learned so far (see HERE). Here are the latest:

'Stuff' accumulates, and fast. I just looked to my right in the room I happen to be sitting in and there are 2 bags of clothes (that don't fit his fat butt anymore!), a bag of hats, a boppy, a bumbo, a light-up seahorse (don't), 2 bottles of lotion, 2 binkies, baby powder, a football, and a bunch of toys. Can you picture the other side of the room?

You'll probably overfeed your baby, pinch his leg in the carseat buckle, bend his finger backwards as you're dressing him and other complete accidents. We've all done it, and feel terrible. Move on, he'll forgive you in a new york minute.

I thought Max was 'fussy' if he didn't burp. Hahahaha. Well well well, I didn't know 'fussy' then. One word = TEETHING. And I'm sure it gets worse. In a blessing once I was told "you will have a develop the talents needed to be a mother," Well, evidently we are working on 'developing' the talent of 'patience'! Wow, I just did a lot of "".

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - brand name. You must go brand name with diapers (=specifically Huggies), wipes, and baby lotion. Just don't screw with it.

Stick with the snap-crotch for now. Even though He has cute t-shirts, they just get all shuffled. Snap crotch is the way to go. If it was acceptable, I would wear snap crotches.

LOTION: So Johnson's has the bedtime lotion and just the regular baby lotion. Apparently, the bedtime lotion is 'proven to help babies sleep better,' Whatever, thought me. Someone gave me some so I'd been using it after baths. And as we all know, Max is a champion sleeper. I like the smell and feel of the regular better, so I just bought a new bottle of it. Well, let me tell you, they aren't kidding when they say the bedtime lotion is 'proven'! No, really. I've conducted my own studies, and really, use the bedtime lotion at night. Use the regular in the morning if you like the smell. Really.

Usually, a ride in the car = sleeping baby. If all else fails.

Don't screw with nap times and feeding times. Max gets the eating schedule from Grandpa Dale and the sleeping schedule from MaMaMommyMe. Honestly, he is patient for a bit, gives you a warning fuss, then freaks the hell out. And I don't blame him. The other day, he had PT in the morning, which screwed up his nap partially (when I say partially, I mean half way thru the session, he just says to hell with it and falls asleep), and then I took him to work to show him off. He was messed up from the morning nap getting interrupted and on the edge. Behaving, but on edge. After being passed around and coddled, one of the nurses picked him up and he took one look at her, his bottom lip started quivering, and that was the last straw. Major flip out. Anyway, just try not to screw with food and sleep, with people in general, but babies too.

AND, here is a funny website. I've got it coming. It does say the "S" word, FYI.

Quick Trip

A few of us went to my parents property down in Fairview for a few hours today to drop off a wheeler and ride around for a bit. Max's first 'outdoor' experience! The sunlight really pisses him off, and he is teething, but other than that I think he liked it! If he didn't like it, he better start real quick cause there is a lot of campin in this family!

Creepy Dishtowels

My sweet grandma Jerry gave me these dishtowels when I got married and I got thinking today just how disturbing they really are. I don't know if she 'freehanded' them, or they were a pattern, but either way.......

The Juggling Potato

Tomato and Pickle Lovers

Spoon Playing Metallica Carrot

The Juggling Squash

At least they are absorbent. Gotta love old people!

all about us

So I've been thinking of a few random things about me, which lead to random things about Benj and Max too:

ME

• I feel toenail clipping should be a personal practice.
• I think I have good looking ears and thumbs.
• I don't have a good looking nose, but it works really well. Got an award in high school about it.
• I like thick straws and thin fries.
• I feel very strongly about good lighting. Very strongly.
• I love to write the word "murray" - it flows so nicely.

BENJ

• He has nice legs.
• He can fix anything and if he can't he'll find out how.
• He can sing - and quite well.
• He cannot (no, really) remember words to songs. (drives me crazy!!)
• He hates hates hates the Lakers.
• He doesn't like to sleep.
• It takes him a good hour and a half to really wake up in the mornings. He's physically up not not at all coherent for quite a long while.
• I've never seen him me really mean to anyone.

MAX

• He wakes up happy (and we have no idea where it comes from).
• He doesn't want any part of looking, turning, glancing, etc LEFT. Dont screw with him.
• Freaking hates loud noises.
• When he is sleeping he wants his hands above the shoulder line. Again, don't screw with him.
• Is intrigued by lights, TV, etc.

idiot

This is another dumb thing I've seen at work. What genius thought "Hmmmm, lets print a bunch of papers that say "This page left intentionally blank", staple them to other papers, and mail them out to a bunch of Dr Offices." Just skip a few steps and go start a forest on fire, Mr Mastermind.

things i hear @ work

• You took out the wrong ovary.

• I'd like a moment with my placenta.

• I'd like a moment with my uterus.

• You f*?$#@ up my f*&%^*# life you b*%c%! (I work in billing..)

• The infection is just pouring out of me.

• You see, I have multiple personalities. I thought I already paid the bill.

• Well, what's a girl to do?

• I don't have a drug problem. I swear my prescription just got stolen again.

• Hurry, call and quit your job so we can get on Medicaid.

• What is a vagina?

• Everyone else has big boobs, I swear I am underdeveloped. I'm pretty sure. Please do lab work or something.

• I have no idea who the father is. Does it matter?

• Is it okay if my mom goes to the bathroom with me?

Of course, these are the most extreme examples I've gathered along the way.

I love my job!

Owl-ing, Sittin Up, & Sleeping with a hand

So Max likes to sleep with his hands all over his face. Sometimes it looks like he has a terrible headache and is holding his head. Other times it just looks like "Oh, for hell sakes mom,". Funny boy. He is also sitting up really well (in his Bumbo seat) and his neck is getting really strong. Cute pic huh? And lastly, but certainly not least, he is Owl-ing. Thats right, I said OWL-ing. We went from sounding like a lamb, to sounding like an Owl. He has pretty much been yapping for like 48 hours straight, with the exceptions of night time and naps. Wakes up talking, plays talking, even tries to talk while eating (which makes him choke and it is freaking funny!). He usually stops when I video it, but I caught a little.

False Advertising?

First off, I fully support this little diddy. If I had to buy flowers, I'd definately go here. They make awesome arrangements and the owners are super nice people.

That being said, come ON, really. Next time you drive by Flowers On Main, check out the

huge makeshift wreath filling the entire porch, adorned with fake flowers.

Also notice the

3 foot high weeds aound the perimeter
 and the

Dandelions & scruffy bushes all around.

This is a FLOWER shop! That is like Pioneer Party having deflated balloons and a bad copy out front! Like a liposuction clinic having a big fat flappy lady thier Office Manager! Don't. It is such a darling little house, so sad. This has bothered me for a long time and I have always hesitated 'naming names' but a good friend brought this up to me to me today, independent of any hinting I gave her, and I knew it was time. And I knew it deserved more than just listing it over there on the pet peeves list; it needed a post.

Also, while I'm on the subject, you HAVE to buy hot dogs, baby wipes, and crayons NAME BRAND. Really, you can't go cheap on this stuff, you'll regret it.

Nothin but a Grin

All I can get out of him is a half ass grin - no big smiles!! I must say though, it is cute! I am satisfied for now.

Birth Control

Sometimes, life is just such a big shuffle. Man, I tell you what, I am not having any more kids for a long while. Just babysitting my sisters 2 kids (who really are well behaved-ish) along with mine, really throws me off. 10 minutes into it I am sweating like a pig, yelling "what??!" and "hang ON!" alot, trying desperately to find Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for a demanding 4 year old, and trying to give Anna a banana because she keeps saying "bana" (which I later found out means "Anna"), chasing and tripping and flustered. Whew. The minute they go, all my clothes are off and I am watching Discovery Health Channel with a Dr Pepper. Don't freaking talk to me.

What is the point of these?

the People of Wal Mart

Now, just to be clear, I am a total Wal Mart shopper. However I have seen this kind of nonsense going on there, especially at the Orem Wal Mart, so I thought I would share the entertainment.


I was wondering what Blossom was up to. Now if we can just find Joey Lawrence,I can get some sleep at night.


I see you got your little doggie backpack there. I wish I could be as happy as that dog is. Seriously, he looks absolutely psyched to be there! No wonder those little dogs just yip and bite everyone. I would literally tear someone's face off if I had to ride around in a papoose all day.


Brings a whole new meaning to 'just hanging out,".


HAHAHA. It's funny because he is in the mop section and his head/hair looks like a mop! That's just good imagery.


Dear Mrs. Adams, it was cute to dress your boys Grizzly and Cletus alike when they were two years old, but at 65? Not so much.


If I had told you that there is a picture where purple hair is the least weird thing going on, would you have believed me?


Anybody remember the fruit snack "Gushers"? Now I'm not saying anything else, I'm just saying..Gushers. They're delicious. Good luck enjoying them ever again.


So, this is either a cross-dressing nautical enthusiast OR...well, fill in anything, It really doesn't matter because none of it will make sense.


Now kids, much like how you can determine a tree's age by its rings, you can also judge the level of "party" in a person by the length of the mullet. Write that down.


Unfortunate.

Facebook & Firsts

So Max has had a few firsts over the last little bit: first haircut, first real sickness with fever, first giggle, first pee on mom (I took my eye off it, you gotta watch for it to creep up....), and the first mom clipped my skin instead of nail moment.

And Facebook. That's it, I am a Facebook nerd. 2 months ago, I dispised Facebook. Like not just, 'eh, I don't like it really,' Like 'I'd rather die than get on Facebook,'. And somehow, I've gone from that to checking it 2-3 times a day, happily. I can't help it. It pleases me to see that the boy I had a crush on in 4th grade, who is now gay, is enjoying a Frappe with his boyfriend Jose. I like that a girl I saw twice in the lunchroom in Jr High is excited for flip-flop weather. I smile when I see one of my old Drill Team buddies worked out so hard yesterday she is now sore. I find myself thinking throughout the day, 'hmmm, I should post that,' because I know the Jr High lunchroom girl is just dying to know. I could spend hours, just searching for pages and things to 'like' and 'poke' and people who I might know, even a little. Really, it is getting unhealthy. And it's not like I don't have anything to do. I have plenty, and I will tell myself that the laundry can be folded later, the dishes can wait, hell, Max can hold off to eat for just a little longer, just gotta check the status updates real quick. Facebook nerd.

Soap, anyone?

So, the toilet is broke again and I am, again, peeing in the sink. (My mom is going to kill me for saying that. Mom, I am keeping it sanitary, don't fret.) About every 3rd bowel movement, our toilet clogs. Anyway, on that note, while Benj was being a nerd and playing World of Warcraft tonight, Max and I were looking at the "Awesome Facts" app on my iTouch when there it was:

"The average human body has enough fat to make 7 bars of soap."

That's it!! The answer I have been searching for - I am going into soap making! Since I'm not, ahem, 'average', I'm sure I can do much more than 7! Then I figure I will just keep producing more, so that's it - soap making it is! Any scent requests?