Bad names and I hate change

So, it's been a week-er so and naturally I have a ton of pet peeves and smart ass comments that have been building up over the week, so here you go:

First, Max is one month old today! Happy One Month Day!

Second, while sitting home watching TV all day on maternity leave, some pretty disturbing male names have come to my attention. If you know me at all, you know the name "Peter" has always topped my list of really really ugly names. Don't tell me when you hear that name you don't picture this:

and no one wants to picture that. Another that has come to my attention; Wolfgang. Really, what person says to themself, "Hmm, I think I will name my child 'Wolfgang'" and feel good about it?? Don't. You know this is what he will look like:

And lastly, Kip. WTH? I think probably started out as a joke. This is what I picture:


So, as you may have gathered, I am a true blue pessimist. I pretty much bitch about everything (mostly in a joking way, but still, nonetheless). So, I thought pregnancy was bad. I whined about the heartburn, the mood swings, the acne, the crotch pain, the nausea, the constant hunger. Well well well kids, I found something that tops the crappiness of pregnancy; postpartum. Holy hell. I have never felt so horrible in my life! Moods and hormones a-raging (no, really), itchy stretch marks (no one told me that they itch after you deliver..), FATIGUE, hormones, the BLEEDING (I almost forgot), hormones, NICU, fatigue, Max not breathing, tests, tests, stretchy jello-y skin, BREAST MILK, NICU, hormones, bills. Don't get me wrong, I love the little guy, but I do not do well with change. Benj and I traded sides of the bed and it was a huge deal for me. Took a few nights of crying, tossing, turning, spooning, etc, and I am still trying to deal with it (which is why I am blogging at 2:47 am.....). Another example, 2 years ago, I got married, started school, quit work, and moved out all within like a week. Yeah, I just completely shut down. Stopped everything and stayed home. Cry cry cry. A trip to the ER and lots of meds later, I am still getting used to it. Needless to say, I am having a hard time adjusting to the newness of a baby and all that goes with it. It is slowly getting better; I'm sure glad I have good friends and family! Max finally gets his oxygen off this weekend (yay! I've felt like a senior citizen having home care come and deliver oxygen and supplies...AND it sucks dragging the tubing all through the house AND having those ouch-y stickers on his cute cheeks...)(see, there is the pessimist!). Here are a few cute pics of the Max-ster:








Max getting a head start on his gopher skills.

Anna seriously LOVES Max!!! The veil must be thin cause this girl KNOWS him! She can't get her chubby little hands off him and constantly says 'baby' and 'max' and touches all his little features. I'm sure they will be good friends.

Also, can I just say how freaking dumb the news is sometimes...? So today that guy crashed his plane into the IRS building and one of the news anchors says, "They believe that the man was angry with the IRS and had specifically targeted the building," No shit. Don't.

Thanks for listening.

Ladder? Anyone??

I just noticed in the picture below of Benj and Max sleeping in the NICU, there is a man on a ladder in the background.... what the hell?

Max is back on oxygen :(

www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com - freaking funny




I put this book by Max to see if he'd look at it at all and he was totally into it - cute!

Tired

WOW I am tired.

Delivery part 2 - Max is home - Lots of pictures! Videos!

Well I forgot one key part of the delivery - the aftermath. So Max had come out and they took him to do whatever they do and Dr Allen started the 'massage' of the uterus to deliver the placenta. Not real comfortable. They brought Max over for a second and I started to get nauseated and handed him back to the nurse. I then began projectile puking. They give you a big condom looking thing with a 2 inch diameter to puke in, so naturally I missed most of the time. I threw up a good 7 times, filled a few of those things. The others hit the nurse, one splashed in my face, one ran down my back, one in my hair. It was out of control. I hadn't even eaten, I don't even know what the hell was coming up. Anyway, with one of the throw up thrusts, my placenta came flying out and hit Dr Allen, somehwere near his face. He had blood all over, it was pretty sick. Anyway, I forgot that part.

So Max is home! After a long 9 days in NICU, he's finally home. Of course, the first thing that happens is Benj took him and layed him on his chest and they are napping. Benj is such a hog! I am frantic, wondering if he is breathing, so I had to get out of there, so here I am.

Here are the rest of the NICU pictures and some videos, and him getting ready to come home this morning in his carseat. They aren't in chronological order, which is really annoying, but I am not going to drag them around. Enjoy!

The Delivery

Max David Barnhurst
January 22, 2010 7:37 am
8lbs, 18.5 inches

Well I thought I better share the 'birth' story before I forget the details! The last few days has been nothing but a huge blur! So last Thursday, I had my regular appointment for a NST and with the Dr. I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia earlier that week, so they were watching my BP close. On the NST I was having regular contractions (I couldn't feel them). I also had quite a headache, so he decided to check me again and I was dilated to a 3! (was a zero 2 days earlier) He pretty much said we can continue to plan on induction Monday, or we would even start you tonight because of BP, dilation, contractions, size of baby. I thought I'd go home and rest and see if the headache got better, and about 2 hours later I was feeling the regular contractions and still having headache, so I called Dr Allen and he told me to head to hospital. Benj was at work, so I packed my things and waited for him. Of course in the meantime I am bawling; emotional and scared. Anyway, they started the pitocin around 5 and I didn't dilate much for probably 8 hours or so. I got the epidural before I started really feeling anything, so that was great. Seriously, the IV stick, the cervix checks, the put the monitor on the baby's head all hurt MUCH worse than the epidural. Hell, the catheter sucked too. The whole labor I felt like I had to pee and couldn't. Evidently it was just normal irritation from the catheter. After the epidural got in, Dr Allen broke my water and put internal monitors on the baby. Seriously the water breaking felt cool. It felt like I just sat there and peed myself for like 4 hours. He also started Magnesium Sulfate to avoid seizures due to my blood pressure being high. That pretty much knocked me out and I slept through most the rest of the night. Dr Allen woke me, Benj, and Kellie up about 6:30am saying I was a 10 and ready to push. I was all disoriented and weak from the Mag, trying to wake myself up. The first 2 or 3 sequences of pushing were useless, I had no idea what I was doing. I asked for a mirror so I could see what was going on and where to push. Yeah, I took one look at that and I was done. Anyway, after a few pushes I got the hang of it and actually did really well. I didn't realize you do 3 10 second pushes per contraction until the freaking baby comes out. I pushed for about an hour and a half (which is pretty good for a first timer with an epidural = average is 3 hours per Dr Allen). But really, especially for a fat person, that is hard work. Like aerobics, and I don't do aerobics. By the last few pushes I kept saying I could not do one more, really, I was going to die. Of course Benj was upbeat and trying to be funny the whole time and I remember just yelling at him half the time. He really did great though. Before delivery he was so pissed off about holding my leg for some reason and when it came time he was the only one there so he had to, haha. He did great thgough and got really into it. Kellie held the other and Tam and my mom watched from the side. Tam videotaped I think. Anyway, toward the end, Dr Allen says he is going to need to cut a little for his head to come out. Huge head. So he did, and I ended up tearing also. Anyway, that is pretty much the jist of it. The Magnesium really jacked me up and I was pretty out of it for a day or so. Max was having apnea problems at first so they took him to be watched. After a bit they brought him to my room and Benj tried to feed him a little and he started turning blue, so they took him back to the NICU. He's been there since. He has episodes where his heart rate drops to like the 30's and his oxygen then drops. They don't really know exactly what the problem is. They did start him on a reflux medicine and he seems to be doing better yesterday and today, but he still can't go without oxygen. Anyway, Benj and I have pretty much alternated being at hospital and sleeping for the last 5 days. Thats about all. Just waiting for Max to get better. Benj went back to work today, so of course I have been an emotional mess. Benj has been great, I couldn't have done it without him! Literally!

The whole 'binding your boobs' thing freaking sucks. I seriously think I might have a broken rib about it.

Just FYI, if for whatever reason you are not going to breast feed, be prepared for rude remarks and reactions to it. I'm not kidding, almost every nurse and Dr mentioned something about it. I don't think anyone should judge it unless they know the reasons. Even then, depending who they are, they should keep thier mouth shut. I spent a good day and a half crying and feeling horribly guilty about it. Still kind of do, but anyway, prepare yourself, it is annoying. We'll keep everyone updated on Max. Thanks for everyone's support!

Quick Update

Well Max had a little trouble breathing when he was born and has been in NICU since. They are thinking possible brain swelling from birth trauma (told you he had a huge head!). It doesn't seem to be getting much better or worse really, they are just running tests and scans, etc. He does great other than that though! He's a great eater and burper and pooper! He doesn't cry much, just whipmers. He likes to be cuddled up and have his hair played with. He totally has blue blue eyes right now that are beautiful, but will probably change to brown, which is ok too. Anyway, Benj and I are doing well, just exhausted. Max will probably come home today or tomorrow with oxygen - and then Benj is off to work Thursday again! :( We'll keep everyone posted!

Welcome Max!

I don't have a lot of time -slash- it sucks to sit on 85 stitches right now, so I am just going to post some pictures and tell the story later.... isn't he cute? Really. He was born 01-22-10 at 7:37 am, 8 lbs 18.5 inches delivered by lovely Dr Allen!

Update + General Patton

Well, the ultrasound Monday didn't go as planned. He is still in the 88th%. He did gain 7 oz though, which is good that he is still growing. Really, his head and tummy grew quite a bit, it is those damn short Barnhurst legs bringing his average down! (Benj {and most men in his fam} have freakishly long torso and short legs, nice legs, but short). His head is so big they even took a measurement of his cheeks.... it is almost starting to freak me out that something might be wrongo with it.... So anyway, the NST went well, he preformed like a champ this week and held still. But I go to see the Dr and my BP was elevated enough that he sent me right to the hospital to do pre-eclampsia labs and a 24 hour urine. I was there for a good 2 hours, and the initial labs came back ok. BP was still elevated, but not alarming, so they sent to home to be on bedrest for the night while I do the urine test. Well don't worry, I filled up the one container they gave me in about 7 hours and had to go back to L&D to get 2 more in the middle of the night. Sucked. Benj had taken his sedative sleeping pill and was dead to the world, bless his heart. Anyway, I had to drop it off yesterday at about 4 and do more monitoring while they ran the test. I was there for seriously like 4 hours. Note to self: BRING MY OWN PILLOW NEXT TIME. Those beds are so flipping uncomfortable! Don't! I had a pretty bad headache and was dizzy, so they wanted to monitor that. My urine ended up coming back elevated as well, so the on-call Dr said you do have pre-eccampsia and need to be on bedrest and to follow up Thursday at the office. Between that and you measuring so big, we will need to induce you next week. I haven't talked to Dr Allen yet, but I hope that is the case. I can't believe they finally tell me I have to stay in bed and I am up at like 7 today. I really hope he is born on an even day, I hate odd numbers.
Sorry, this is kind of a boring post for most people - this is pretty much all that is going on in my life right now!
I will post this quick video that has nothing to do with any baby stuff but is really cool. It is General Pattons speech in WWII. We need more Generals like him today and we wouldn't be in the mess we are in.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=108603

Baby Shower, Nursery + Pumpkin Bullcrap

So today my mom and sister came over and roughed my messy house to help me get things cleaned and set up. Here are some of the nursery pictures (bad lighting!!). I will prob add/rearrange a few things, but I think it turned out great! Thanks Mom and Em! (Owen helped too) Also had a shower today - got a ton of sweet loot!

This picture was the 'inspiration' for the room. I remember being newly prego and Benj flat out insisting that the nursery - boy or girl - remain U of U. I cried for days.

(still working on knobs.../ bad lighting)

Sorry about glare - this is trying to add to the 'vintage' flare...

Cute crib!

Awesome bedding my talented mom made for crib.... isn't it cute?! She also made some little throw pillows and changing mats out of the same fabrics. Plus she has made 1300 receiving blankets that are all super cute!

Cradle all ready by my bed!

Love the carseat! Grandmas Kellie and Tam got us the travel system with carseat and stroller - so cute! I actually wanted to go on a walk about it.....which is saying a lot if you know me at all.

Benj's aunt Michelle is a master seamstress. She made this awesome coat, lined with U of U fabric! Benj wanted one in his size.......

Don't mind my fat swollen freaking paw there....

Cute outfit from Aunt Robin!

Also got a ton of cute blankets and clothes, a big box of diapers and wipes, a cool diaper cake with lots of necessities decorating it (bottles, binkis, toys, etc). My mom also made one of those blankets that hook to the carseat that is dang cute - but pending finishing touches. For my shower last week with my friends, I got my changing table pad, diapers, cute outfits, an umbrella stroller, a cute tummy time mat, some bath stuff, a seat cover to put under carseat, lots of cute cute stuff!

This was my Christmas present for me and Max - I am sure we'll spend a lot of time here!

So, the wierd fruit comparison thing isn't really working anymore. The one today says a "Crenshaw Melon" and about 6 pounds. Yeah, in his bra. Last Monday he was estimated at about 7.5 pounds, so he is pretty much at the 40 week estimated 'pumpkin' size..... Induce me now! Holy hell!!! I have an appointment on Monday and will know more then about what is going on, if anything.

Thanks everyone for all the shower gifts and help! Woo-hoo!

Pigeon

Call me crazy, but I seriously like pigeons. Weird because I really hate birds, but pigeons, they are ok.

I probably shouldn't announce this, but my stretch mark got a stretch mark and has been bleeding. WTH!? That is bad.

He's up to the 88th percentile this week (no wonder about the stretch mark...). Dr says once he reaches 90th %, we'll talk induction. Bring it on!

Biggies begat biggies

So the latest is he is estimated weighing 6.8 lbs (@34.5 weeks) which is huge. Looking at induction possibly by the end of this month!!!!!! Woo-hoo! He also has a ton ton ton of long hair, which I am excited about!

So, real quick I have 2 cute stories:

First, Owen (nephew) thinks that him and Max talk to each other. The first time, the conversation went like this:

• Me: What is he saying Owen?
• Owen (listening to my belly): I think he said 'Christmas tree'!!
• Me: really, are you sure?
• Owen: Not quite, but I weally think he said 'Christmas tree'!

Then last night he was pretty sure he said 'couch'. Funny kids. Hope they will be good friends. Owen also went off the other day about teaching Max to play Sonic (on his xbox).... "I'll show him the bad guys, and how to free the little animals, and how to get coins, and how to run and jump and curl up then go weally weally fast. I pretty much know everything about Sonic." I bet he will attempt this 'teaching' soon after Max is born.

And second:

Benj and Max have a game they are playing and I don't even think either of them know. When we are in bed, Max will wake me up kicking. I wake up and realize that Max will kick and then Benj, dead asleep, will 'tap' back at him, and so on and so forth. They go back and forth, somehow communicating, for a few minutes. I started trying to talk to Benj and he really was fast asleep, had no idea he was probing my tummy in response to Max. Cute guys!

My sweet mother-in-law is taking me to get a pedicure right now - sooo excited!!! Thanks Tam!

I will post pics of the nursery as soon as the room is presentable..... He is sharing with the 'office' and we are poor as sheephearders, so don't get too excited. Benj has done a great job fixing furniture up and putting things together, it would be much worse without him!

Better

Max's room is black white and red vintage football - so in his honor, I changed (again) to this color scheme.

So I finally got calmed down enough to look for another background. I got it all changed and looked at it and it is so busy and bright it halfway gives me anxiety. We'll see how long it lasts.

So I had a sono yesterday, and here are the stats. His estimated weight is a whopping 5 pounds (a little on the big side for his age, of course, and looks nothing at all like the little floating baby posted on the right of this page). He has gigantic feet, chubby cheeks, and is still a boy (ultrasound tech said, 'look, here is his little turtle!"). I could see hair waving in the amniotic fluid. He was appparently sleeping and didn't want to be screwed around with. He was all curled in a ball and kept turning his head back and forth like he was irritated, had his arms in front of his face. Finally he moved his arms and yawned, as if to say "just take the damn picture and let me go back to sleep,". His personality is already one of a mini Benj = stubborn, which is great, I challenge him to mess with me.

I would also like to bring to your attention the two latest updated pet peeves to the right.

Thanks

PS, it has been brought to my attention that a few people would like to see a 'pregnant' picture. Well my answer is NO to that, just picture me as I was pre-preg, just fatter. It's nothing to get rawled up about.

Jicama (????)

Whatever the hell this is, is Max's appx size this week. About 3.5 pounds and kicking me square in the lung ever 5 minutes or so.

So it has been a while, I have pretty much felt like crap-o. We had a 'false alarm' thinking my water broke and ended up at the hospital last weekend. Everything seems to be ok now, just freaking really uncomfortable. I also ended up taking an iron supplement because my levels were low and making me dizzy. Whoever is familliar with an iron supplement, knows they 'back you up'. I have tried multiple things and am now one step away from an enema before I serioulsy die. I never thought I would utter that sentence.......

I did, however, pass my Certified Coding test and and now a proud Certified Coder; and not doing any coding at all. My job has completely changed and it kind of sucks. I am just trying to get thru the next month or so and then I can just focus on Max for a bit. At least I have the certification if I ever have time or motivation to find a coding job.

Anyway, my little 6 year old neice got a cell phone (long story, Deuche Bag dad...) and has been calling me all day just to shoot the breeze. Talking about movies and school, boys, etc. What has this world come to!? Whatever!

**Quick addendum: I just spent like seriously 3 minutes looking for a new background and ended up in tears because I can't find what I want. I'm going to freaking bed.

Ahh

I just remembered the cereal Waffle Crisp, and smiled.