are you kidding?

I was flipping thru a magazine at lunch today, which I haven't done for a looooong time. The 65 year old nurse I was eating with knows more about the Kardashians than I do. I just found out today thier dad was the lawyer for OJ Simpson...... Anyway, I came across a few things that I just couldn't resist taking another half hour talking to my friends about and then scanning them in to my work email and so I could post them. Maybe I am over-reacting.

Favorite Holiday tradition: Vanessa Hudgens says "opening presents in the morning"

ummm

Isn't that what everyone does?? Does she think that is just her tradition? Does she know what a tradition is? (Do I?) Stupid comment. Stupid. She is, however, hot. (p.s. - here's a fat joke for you: I was eating chips during lunch and see those two dark spots on that lady's dress? yep, greasy finger spots. pretty sick.)

I know, it is obvious that "snooki" is a big idiot. I thought everyone was aware of that. Apparently, someone isn't though because they went and let her "write" not one, but TWO books. On being a "Guidette"???? What the hell even is that? No, really? If she was a tour guide, maybe, maybe she could pull that off, but isn't she just a sluttly little fowl mouthed puke? Are people serious? Like 3 people looked at that ad while I was there and no one said a word - like it was normal. Wake up pale? I understand the eyelashes. Whatever!! What a freaking joke.

 And finally. Carmelo and Lala. That's right, I said LaLa. As in, "La de freaking da-la". Please don't tell me you read that name and thought it was normal just now. Are you kidding me? Carmelo is one thing, and if Caramello candy bars weren't so good, I'd be bitching about his name too. Call me rascist or whatever, but a lot of African Americans have some messed up-made up names (Shaniqua, LaFonda, Quarlisha, SNOOKI, etc) (is Snooki black?) and this, my friends, is a perfect example. Don't. Even if it is a nick-name, for hell sakes grow out of it already. At the very least use your real name for the magazine. Seriously. {Let me just interject here that there are plenty of "white" made up names I could whine about too.... Talon, Canyon, Timber, etc}.

I either won't be reading magazines for a while, or I will and have to continue bitching about the dumb celebrities. Until The Bachelor starts again....

funnies

I just can't handle how funny these are. They always make me giggle, at the very least - sometimes LOL, sometimes LMAO. The pictures crack me up. I've posted some on FB & Pinterest, so some of you may have seen some already. There are thousands - but these particular ones are very "me" I thought. Enjoy!

thankful thursday #6

Nov 28: Benj's patience. Benj in general, but folks, you have no idea how patient this man is. I must be difficult to live with and he, well, he is still here.

Nov 29: The smell of rain on cement.

Nov 30: Random texts and calls from Benj everyday, just to check in.  :)

Of course there are many more things I am grateful for (one being that November is over and I am done with this posting sequence), yada yada.

thankful thursday #5

Nov 18: Bleach

Nov 19: My brothers. Albeit we are 20 years apart, they are both freaking delightfully funny and when push comes to shove, very loyal. Love em.

Nov 20: Miss Kitty. This is Benj's dads cat and she is just lovely. She has more personality than most people do. She talks, smiles, sits on your lap. A perfect cat. She even lets Max body slam her and kiss her. She makes me happy.

Nov 21: Pinterest. Ob-freaking-sessed.

Nov 22: Laughing. Like really, genuinely laughing.

Nov 23: A good pair of fingernail clippers

Nov 24: Leftover turkey sandwiches at my moms. Arguably the best thing ever.

Nov 25: My "eye" for things. I can usually tell if things look good/put things together well.

Nov 26: My house. Although I bitch about it all the time and I really hate it here, at least I have a warm place to sleep.

Nov 27: My parents. Emotional, mental, monetary support. Laughs. Lessons. I love that my mom was the "cool mom" and that she still keeps in touch with my friends. I love her talents, her laugh, and her creativity. I'm grateful for her example. She has taught me more than she will ever know, especially about the gospel, the Temple, and the Book of Mormon. My dads humor (we are mostly on the same page). He will drop anything to come help you - any time of day or night. I'm proud of his accomplishments in his career and working for Lehi City. I know he has a super stressful job, but he works with dignity. Both of them have spent so much time and money on me and my family and I am so grateful. I could go on and on.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Things said on Thanksgiving that may or may not sound naughty......

• Talk about a huge breast!
• Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
• It's Cool Whip time!
• If I don't undo my pants - I'll burst!!
• That's one terrific spread!
• I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
• Are you ready for seconds yet?
• It's a little dry - do you still want to eat it?
• Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
• Don't play with your meat.
• Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
• Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
• How long will it take after you stick it in?
• You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

Happt freaking Thanksgiving! :)

how freaking cute is THIS??

Turn on your volume...

thankful thursday #4

Nov 13: Mas-freaking-cara. I literally look like a completely different person without it. It is a blessing. A huge blessing.

Nov 14: All fonts that are NOT Times New Roman.

Nove 15: My in-laws. It is weird to even call them that, they are just my family. They are so patient and understanding and comforting. I love them! When I am down or having a bad day - it always makes me feel better to be with them. I used to be scared of Benj's dad when we were dating, and I also couldn't say his name (Blair - just feel awkward on the tongue), but I am over that and doing well. Love them!

Nov 16: Max's kisses. I don't know why he is so lovey-dovey, neither me nor Benj are. He gives us kisses good-bye everyday. He kisses babies. He kisses his cousins & uncles. He kisses the cat (RINGWORM???). He kisses his toys. Sweet boy.

Nov 17: Soldiers. I am SO dang proud to be an American. I love patriotism, I love the hard-ass, kick-ass, truly GOOD men and women of the armed forces. Everytime I see a solider around (airport, etc) I want to run up and hug them and tell them thank you (and my mom DOES!). I just think they are amazing and I am greatful for each and every one of them.

thankful thursday #3

Nov 10: Gas stations that have a "put your lid on and get your straw" area. I hate when there is no place to prepare. I'm already in a panic wanting to get it in my belly - so I'm grateful for stations who have designated, clean, lid & straw areas.

Nov 11: Del Taco Chili Cheese Fries. When I have a bad day, a really bad one, or I'm pissed = chili cheese fries. It really is like maybe once a month - but man, yummm. I know, I'm fat.

Nov 12: That my freaking car is paid off. Serisouly.

thankful thursday #2

Again, I know it isn't Thursday.

Nov 7: Snow/winter. I love it. I hate the heat and sweat and heat. I love cozy houses, hoodies, snowmobiling, red-tipped noses, warm socks, leaves - the whole bit. Can't wait.

Nov 8: My washer and dryer. My parents bought them for us for our wedding - nothing fancy - but they have worked well and I'm so glad we have our own and they aren't the landlords, so we can take them with us. I would die if I had to go to a laundry-mat. Die.

Nov 9: My job. Not to be cliche - but really. I've had some ups and downs with it in the past 2 years, but in general - it is amazing. I have a great boss who is sweet and super flexible. I have such AMAZING co-workers!! I love the girls on my team!! I am also lucky to work hand-in-hand with one of my best friends Amanda and also my sister. Seriously, I love each one of them! Plus the rest of the staff, and the providers! We have awesome CNM's and a NP who will knock your socks off - not to mention 3 amazing doctors. I love all of them. I love womens health - love to hear about it, be around it, visit with the patients, I love all of it. I miss being a coder sometimes. A lot. But I am loving what I do. I am super lucky to have such a good job. I feel bad for Benj and for people who don't love their job  - it makes my life easier to have a job I like.

thankful thursday

I know it isn't Thursday - but it sounds better than "Thankful Sunday"

I guess I'll go ahead and do the whole 'write something I'm thankful for every day until Thanksgiving' thing that everyone is doing on Facebook. I can't bring myself to do it there. Let me just get it out in the open that I am grateful for my family, friends, the gospel, etc. I think it almost goes without saying. I'm going to focus on more specific things.

Nov 1: I'm grateful for how Max says "I lub oo" (I love you) and "ank oo" (thank you). It melts my icy heart and makes me happy that he understands and can talk and is on track for his age. I love it.

Nov 2: Lysol Wipes.

Nov 3: My fertility. No, I'm not trying, for hell sakes. I just see so much infertility around me, especially working where I do, and am so grateful I don't have to go through that. I was able to get pregnant twice, and some people don't ever have that experience. Although it has been HARD (the pregnancies, the labor, and everything since), I am super grateful.

Nov 4: Dr. Pepper. I know it sounds vain, but man, there are some days I literally cannot get through without it.

Nov 5: Good medical insurance. I have fairly good covereage. We have A LOT of prescriptions and I see a psych once a damn week, just for basics. Let alone sick visits, Max stuff, etc. Super glad we have insurance.

Nov 6: My sisters. We go thru phases where we don't talk as much as others, but I am so lucky to have them both. I have learned a ton from both of them. More than anything they are an awesome support to me. They are always there for me without question. And, they are freaking funny.

glow sticks in the tub

Apparently, you have to have a cool camera - or be really cool and know what you are doing, to take pictures of glowsticks..... so there are some with flash and some without.....

He freaking loved it! And I love Pinterest!

Hallo-freaking-ween

I was soooo excited for Halloween this year, until Friday. Panic set in. I hadn't really prepared a costume. I wanted for Max to have fun so bad. I was planning on going to the Legacy Center party and couldn't bring myself to do it. I was going to do trunk-or-treat the next day and couldn't do it. Anxiety. There is a "Halloween House" in AF I wanted to go take him to. HeeHaw farms. Nothing. I just broke right down. Thankfully he has an amazing babysitter who took him with her to the kids school parade, so he got a little taste of the holiday. I got home tonight and built up some energy and dressed him up. At first he wasn't having the hat part so I told him he could never ever play with Anna again if he took it off. He said "ok" and left it on the rest of the night (Call me a mean mom). I took him to Em's and attempted door to door trick or treating. He pretty much just ran around behind the big kids and eventually found a play slide in someones yard and stayed there. He didn't get the candy thing. We would knock on a door and he'd try to hand the people something out of his bag. Whatever. {My mom made the costume for my BROTHERS like 40 years ago, then Owen wore it when he was little - purty cute huh?}

isn't he cute?!

he got a dum-dum and that was all he wanted....

waiting for Oliva at my mom's gate.....

another sucker

He has a serious love/hate relationship with Miss Kitty. One minute he is body slamming her, the next, kissing her.

Getting pissed about the hat

annnnnd, he's done with it.

It all turned out just freaking fine. Benj was right when he said to take an Ativan and calm the hell down about it. Kinda glad it is over.....