NOT a bachelor post

I'm behind on last episode because, well, I was bored. Slash I haven't had time.

Anyway, I have been wanting to get a few things out, so here they come.

1. 3 mean kids in high school gave these dumb awards every year. The popular people got nice ones, and everyone else got mean ones. It sucked. Anyway, one year I got a SAM award for "Having the most fake personality". It really hurt and I hated it, and really, didn't understand why. I thought I was keeping it pretty real? I guess maybe not. But as time has gone on, and especially in more recent years, I have thought, I wonder if it because I am bi-polar? I wonder if it was evident then? They probably didn't know either that I was really really outgoing most of the time and was really shy of popluar guys, like them, so it seemed things changed when I was around them. I don't know why or what their reasoning was. Anyway, I want to say to those guys - I was dealing with a lot of shit and there was a lot you didn't/don't know. And it was rude.
2. I've had 2 mommy ahhhaa moments lately and one is this: Max sleeps in our bed. Don't judge me. I too said I would never, and here I am. He has horrible night terrors and if bi-polar over here doesn't sleep, shit hits the fan, and it is a hell of a lot easier for now. Think what you will. Anyway, the past month I have been super down and have had extreme anxiety to the point of going to the instacare thinking I was having a freaking heart attack. Still not controlled. So at nights, more often than not, I've been sad or crying. Every night, he scoots over close to me, finds my hand to hold, plays with my hair, kisses me face all over. He will say "You sad?" then he will kiss me again then say "Happy ma??" He will do it over and over until I tell him I am happy now. How could that not melt even a hard heart like mine? The other night specifically was a moment where I thought to myself "You were worth it Max. All the HELL the pregnancy and postpartum have caused and on my body and mentally is worth it.
3. I know people have brought this up before, but I just can't take it. Where the hell are Max and Ruby's parents? Seriously. If Ruby didn't have to babysit so damn much maybe she would quit being such a bitch. I can honestly say I think I hate her. What is weird is one time I saw a family picture in their house and it had Max, Ruby, and Grandma and Grandpa in it. Aaand Grandma doesn't live with them because she comes to visit.... sooooo what kind of set up is going on there?? Aaaand has anyone ever really took note of the wallpaper going on in that freaking house?? I think it may, or may not, change every episode. I haven't been able to put my finger on it but it always seems different. Except one room always has big green sombreros, horrible ones. Big obnoxious flowers, etc etc. UGH. I'll be glad when this phase is over. I'll take Dora anyday. Umi Zoomi. Jake and the Neverland Pirates I actually enjoy.  I've been almost missing Thomas the Train.

Ok, I'm done. I'll get around to The End of Tierra episode soon.