eye dye

So, while I have all this stupid drama with my freaking eyes, my mind wanders back to the days in high school when me and my friends would drip

FOOD COLORING

into each others eyes. For one blink, the whole world was blue, and we thought it was freaking cool.

IDIOTS!

p.s. for journaling purposes, Max has his two front bottom teeth (about 7 months)

baby turtles

hannibal

I got thinking, and we only had sex ONE time while I was pregnant. It was on Halloween, after we watched Hannibal. Kind of wierd/creepy.

pointless

Breaking News: Mom just locked her door

ROANOKE, VA—According to reports from stunned Melberg family sources, Mom just walked up the stairs, slammed the door to her bedroom, and locked it.

The shocking incident occurred shortly before dinner time in the Melberg home at 46 Fairmoor St. Although Mom had reportedly been silently chopping vegetables in the kitchen, showing no signs of outward agitation or anger, multiple sources confirmed seeing her walk briskly through the living room and up the stairs before locking herself in her bedroom at approximately 6:38 p.m.

At press time, witnesses were sitting on the living room couch in stunned silence.

"Is Mom mad?" Tyler, 8, asked following the unprecedented incident. "You guys, I think Mom's mad."
"It wasn't me," Katie, 11, told reporters. "I was just sitting here. I didn't do anything."

Mom, 46, has not emerged from behind the locked door, nor has she given any indication as to when or if she will return to the kitchen to resume making dinner, sources said.

Speculation persists as to what could have provoked Mom's tense exit, with some citing the failure of Tyler to pick up his toys from the staircase, and others placing the blame on Katie and Joseph's repeated failure to set the table as requested, or on Dad failing to put his book down and help out for once.

Katie, who reiterated that she wasn't ignoring Mom and was going to do her homework in a little while after she was done talking to her friend Amanda, claimed multiple other factors played a role in the episode.

"Joseph was the one who wouldn't get off the computer to come down for dinner," she said. "And then Tyler was making gun sounds and being annoying like always."

"Quiet, you guys," Tyler interjected. "She's going to get madder."

Inquiries are currently being made into whether or not it would be okay to turn the television on, though many at the scene believed that the sound of the family guiltlessly enjoying a TV show could actually exacerbate an already tense situation.

The Melbergs were also reportedly unsure of what to do about the three pots on the stove and the partially chopped carrots, until Dad eventually decided to leave them there for the time being, while turning off all the burners.

"I wish she'd just come out and yell at us," Joseph Melberg, 10, told reporters.

The family's collective hopes were briefly raised when Mom was heard opening her bedroom door at approximately 6:45 p.m. to use the bathroom, where she ran the water for half a minute before turning off the light, pacing down the hall, slamming her door, and locking it again.

Speculation continued to mount that the evening's developments might somehow affect the status of dessert, or possibly even this weekend's planned trip to the beach. However, Tyler, Joseph, and Katie Melberg were reassured by Dad that the situation would soon blow over.

"She'll be fine," Dad said while picking up a dustpan, sweeping up several crumbs, and then awkwardly standing in the kitchen. "She just needs some time alone."

At press time, Dad thought maybe they should all go out for some ice cream or something.

courtesy of theonion.com

wordless wednesday......

funny

borderline HIPPA violation

I hate these things people put on the back of thier vans. Names off each child and cat and dog and what sports they like. It's too much information. I saw this one at the Wal Mart last night, but I've seen worse. The Mickey Mouse heads in different sizes to depict 'Dad' 'Mom' and 'children'. I've even seen one with the kids birthdates on it. If a halfway smart person looks at that and does a little research, zap - identity theft. It's just not good.

a thought on exercise

Everyone around me tells me I should start walking for exercise. Here is my response to that:

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

I'm going to have a large gulp of my Dr Pepper and hit the sack now.

max tongue-ing & giggles

night and day.....

So I really probably shouldn't even post this, but my whole life pretty much is saying things that are inappropriate, so whatever.

So two nights ago, I'd had it, so I took some 'me time' and got in the shower. My sweet hubby came in, taking care not to move the shower curtain too much because he knows it pisses me off when he sees me naked in the light, and handed me a hunk of cookie dough, didn't say a word, and left. When he heard the water turn off a few minutes later, he quietly came in and handed me my towel while the curtain was still closed so I didn't have to walk out into the 'draft' and get chilled. Sweet, huh?

Fast forward 24 hours. I'm irritable and really need my 'me time' and head to the shower. He comes in to pee (which is annoying to me in the first place) and 'pokes' me through the curtain with a one finger jab, making the freezing cold plastic part touch me. Pissed me off. So I, to teach him a lesson, gave him a small spray of water over the curtain. Of course, this got the reaction I wanted, him mad. But never, ever, would I have expected what came next. The curtain parted, water spraying on the floor, in came his 'pepe' and, yes folks, he peed on me. Laughing ensued. I cannot even describe how pissed off, livid even, I was. I think I may have slipped an F bomb. Of course my first reaction was to put a stop to the thing causing pee to get on me, so I hit it, and hit it hard. That of course sent him out of the bathroom, whining about me hurting his 'package' and 'being no fun', which is exactly what I wanted to happen. I then had to re-wash myself and the shower, and needless to say I left the bathroom in a worse mood than when I came in.

Naturally, he thinks this is all fun and games and he's 'just playing', 'flirting' even. He doesn't see a difference in the two nights, other than the second one was more exciting because we were 'having fun'. Does anyone else see the difference???

And they call me bi-polar.

misc

Yes, after my 12 HOUR WORK DAY, Max and I went to the park. He thinks he is freaking cool-beans sitting up like that.

mmmmmmm

He's into sucking his toes... (yes, I am aware he is not actually sucking his toes here... but he is into it, really)

Anna is absolutely enthralled with him. She cannot even stand it. All she does is say 'Baby' and touch and kiss and get things out of his diaper bag and kiss and touch and give him his 'meme' (binki) and touch his face and get something else out of his bag and give it to him and kiss and touch and hug him and point to him. Over and over. And over.

He had his 6 month check up Tuesday (really, he is almost 7 months) and here is the battle wound. He just screamed bloody murder for like 30 seconds and then was fine. Here's the stats:

Weight: 19 lbs 12 oz {97th%}

Height: 27 3/4 inches {95th%}

Head: 45.1 cm {95th%}

Pretty much, he's huge. Doc said it is really good that he is so mobile, being a bigger guy+ a preemie; means he has great muscle tone. BTW, for documentation purposes, he can sit up as of Aug 2, 2010 (also, mom and dads 3 year anniversary) at 6 months 1 week and 4 days. He is doing great on all his milestones and development!

We are now feeding him some solids, but the real reason for these pics is the flight pose he takes on ALL THE TIME now.

Flight.

Thats all. For some reason I am panicky tonight - so off I go to start the nighttime routine: take an ativan and put both boys to sleep. Sigh.

inappropriate advertising

It has never made sense to me that Dentists advertise with a picture of thier family. It has nothing to do with anything. Not like they have a lack of options: a large toothbrush, someone with a nice smile, a big cartoon tooth. It is nice to see that they are family men, I guess. Always just thought it was strange.

Yoo-bah 2010

Last year we went to Yuba Lake for the 4th of July-ish, this year in Aug, and I think we are going to make a tradition out of it. Benj's fam used to go to Lake Powell but it just got too expensive (+too hot!). Anyway, we had a good time - the weather kind of sucked (you'll see), but it was nice to enjoy some sun and family. Max did fairly well. He slept pretty good most of the time (I was worried about it in a tent with Benj's dad and Tam). He was semi-fussy a lot of the time and I didn't know if it was the CONSTANT wind, him being out of his element, teething, or him just not feeling well. He really was good overall though. My fam came up on of course the day that we couldn't even leave our tent it was so windy and yucky. We pretty much just choked down lunch and they left. I felt bad, the kids all wanted to boat and play on the beach. The same thing happened last year, they all came down and the damn boat broke and they had to just go home! It was fun though - now it is time to go back to work......

He really did like it, but by the time we got the camera out he was getting pissed off, clearly.

The poor fallen soldiers. Blair opened the package to put them in the cooler and these 3 guys got away and exploded. I sure could have used them.

This little diddy latched itself onto my chest one night and I about came un-freaking-glued. HATE moths. Especially when they are the size of Cleveland. I cried.

Nap with dad

Nap

Brandy's dog Reggie. He was so cute - he loves the water and swimming!

Storm! This is the cool umbrella my dad let us use - it props up to a semi-tent thing. Worked good for the freaking typhoon that came through.

Sitting out the storm

It's crazy - in the few weeks since we went to the cabin, he can totally sit up now!

He loved sitting by the fire + staring at lights, lamps, flashlights!

porta-potty

I know I've mentioned this before - but my mind has been refreshed this weekend. As you all know, one of my pet peeves is using a porta-potty. And not for the obvious reasons. Because of the air that softly blows on your butt as you go. So, last year at Yuba, I noticed the blowing. This year, it was already in my mind so I couldn't help but concentrate on it. It is really pretty sick. I'm one that if I fart in the shower, I have to re-wash everything because the smell 'sticks'. So naturally, this little event is not pleasing to me. Like to the point of blowing your, ahem, hairs down there. AND, I must say I was nicely trimmed up for the trip, you know, swimsuits and all, and still got some blowage. Not acceptable. Where is it even coming from? Seriously. That maybe is the real concern. Don't even get me started on going number 2. It really isn't an option. Number 2 requires, ahem, 'opening' a little, and no, I will not, thank you very much, with mystery air blowing up there. Anyway, more to come later about the Yuba trip - too tired tonight.

Benj babysitting........