lucky duck

 

Sooo... the last few years have really sucked for me personally. Buuuuut, I was just thinking and wanted to point out how blessed I am to have such an easy-peasy son. Minus his extremely large head coming out and causing irrepairable damage; the BIF and extra large right boob he left me, his reflux, and the first 10 days in the NICU (+ the normal kid stuff) - everything else with Max has really been fairly smooth.

• He has always slept through the night - or at the very least 5-6 hours at a time. A HUGE blesseing for BiPolar working mom and full time working dad. I don't know what I would do, literally, if he wasn't such a good sleeper. AND, he never sleeps in my bed!
• He seamlessly went from formula to milk.
• He eats anything. Veggies, fruits, meat. He is a super good eater and will try most things. He is a good drinker. I try not to give him too much sugar and candy (minus DP) because I'm sure he will become fat one day; he's destined to, right?
• His development has always been right on. He is growing great, talking and walking at the right times. He is a super smart little guy. Says words and colors, animal noises, etc. He even signs for food and drink (I didn't teach him, I don't know where it came from....). He is able to communicate really well. He doesn't have any weird hang-ups with talking/hearing/health, etc.
• He doesn't fuss too much. If he is fussy, I can usually figure out what it is by talking it thru with him and we can fix it and he is fine. He is hardly ever ever ever whiney for no reason.
• He has only been really sick once or twice. Nothing that wasn't cured with a preisthood blessing, motrin, and a day or two.
• He is fairly active and entertains himself pretty good. He will watch TV, but not excessively. He is pretty good about playing on his own/with other kids. It is so hard when kids need to be constantly entertained!
• He likes everyone. Even from a baby, he would go to anyone and be lovey and sweet. He loves people! I have been blessed, with an exception once or twice, that he will go to anyone (after moms screening, I'm not talking strangers), and be happy and nice.

I could go on and on. My point is, I don't know how I would have ever done it had he been a hard child. God knows what is going on, and he likes me enough to give me Max. I am so grateful for my little guy!

Bachelorette Finale: Jape takes the Cupcake

I skipped the "Men Tell All" show - for obvious reasons. I did catch a few bits and pieces of it during commercials, which I will comment on. The most significant things being: Ames' orange spray on tan and polio (I know I said polio, not polo)shirt, ready and grinning for the Pachelor Pad, CH looks exactly, exactly, like an Eagle,  and there is no need for Michele $$ to be there.

So I decided why these posts are getting more and more bland. The less people on the show, the less going on. Ashley and Ben are two of the most boring people alive and you can only say JP is cute and has weird shoes so many times. Soo, there you have it.

• We start with CH saying "This is the moment we've all been waiting for" with a little sneer in his voice. We all know what he is really implying there.
• More freaking shots of Fiji beaches.
• Ashley, fresh off her latest course of antibiotics from the Fantasy Suite dates, meandering through the deep sand, repeating over and over "no regrets, yada, yada, amazing, yap, yap, not sure, blah blah" in her see thru tank and white pants.
• You can tell the producers, those idiots controlling this shit, have told Ashley to pause and stare off into the distance a lot. You get a good example here as she boards the plane.
• Again, Fiji is THE perfect place....
• Ashley is so grateful her family came all the way here!! Not like #1 they had a choice, and #2 they prob wouldn't have come if ABC hadn't paid for the 4 of them to stay in a million dollar resort.
• Her sister just patted her ass. Football game?
• Woah nelly, rewind your DVR and check out mom's chest sweat. That is pretty sick. I am a sweater, but man, on national TV, I'd do whatever it takes (which, strangly enough, could just mean walking into the perfectly air-conditioned cabana right freaking behind them!)
• Moms hair dye is melting onto her freaking arms.
• Who the hell is that hoodlum with the towel over his face? They didn't introduce him.
• JP looks military :)
• "JP is first up to meet the family—or be prematurely judged harshly through the eyes of the oldest child of an abusive, alcoholic father who married someone just like him and has spent the last few years covering up her pain with tattoos and projecting her anger at an absent male role model and a failed marriage onto her little sister and anyone she dates."- Guy in Austin
• Towel man? Brother? Yes. He is going to town with that towel. Why would they make then sit outside while it is clearly 200 degrees?
• Poor kid. Looks like Balboa in between rounds with Russian man.
• He needs that bottle of wine JP is carrying ASAP. He needs a few swigs before he full on passes out from dehydration.
• Now Ashley has the towel.
• Now Ashley is looking for her boobs. You see, as a normal civilian, even I would know to probably edit that out. Her, wiping the sweat off her chest, looking down her shirt, etc.
• Notice sister isn't sweating. She's used to the heat on her little porch patio in hell.
• She just cracked herself up.
• Is that milk in those wine glasses?
• Sister is hung up on the laugh question. ASHLEY is the one who didn't answer it "correctly", and sister thinks JP is now not the one.
• Ashley starts crying her left eyelash off and fiddling with her bangs.
• Mom is missing something. They haven't shown a frontal shot of her. She is slow.
• INSECURE!!!!
• She has no idea what she wants. I bet Ali had her mind made up in week 4, Ashley is one day away from proposal and still doesn't know.
• Here's towel man. Little brother, 15 years? Gang? HYPERHYDROSIS!
• Ash chews her face.
• It literally must be 120 degrees.
• Sister is kind of a bitch really.
• She totally just laughed in his face.
• She is pretty, minus the tats.
• Wow, talk about judgemental!
• This kind of explains why Ashley second guesses herself all the time. I bet living with that strong headed crazy does a number on your head.
• "Proving that she’s an experienced ball buster, Kat Von B*tch doesn’t immediately go for J.P.’s jugular vein. Rather, she waits patiently like a cheetah in the high grass eyeing the smallest gazelle in the herd. That gazelle was Ashley and the editors took great pride in filling the space between the hunt and the pounce with naive quotes from Ashley about how comfortable she was having J.P. meet the family. Ashley reminded me of a cow running toward the slaughterhouse in search of fresh hay ignorant of the high pressured bolt gun in her sister’s tattooed hands. When she finally did emerge—fangs unfurled—from the bushes, I actually felt sorry for Ashley." -Guy In Austin
• Ash needs approval sooooo badly!!
• She is probably having flashbacks of thier childhood tea parties or whatever - getting bossed around and bitched at.
• She should run down to the local Fijiian tattoo parlor and get the word TACT tattooed on her freaking forehead.
• She clearly took the brunt of daddy's alcoholism issues growing up.
• This conversation pissed me off :
• ASH (to JP): I just need to figure it out.
• JP: I thought you had it figured out......
• This is the guy that put up with her, in general, but also 2 Bentley issues, a Ryan comeback, and a hell of a lot of face chewing. The least she could have done was reassure him a little.
• I'd be pissed if I were him.
• Drop her like a 2 foot putt.
• Says a lot about her.
• Did the mom and dad even talk to him?
• Her fam is jacked up. Mom is 'slow', dad and bro didn't hardly say a word, and then there is sister...... and Ashley is clearly the step-sister.
• Ashley, for like the 2nd time ever, brings up a good point. I don't want you to sugar coat things, just don't be a bitch.
• High School girl fight.
• This got out of order somehow (my timeline). Whatever. 
• Her gut reaction has been wrong before (meaning, it will always be wrong?) Dumb point tattoo.
• Holy, rewind the DVR again. Moms hair, first of all it is in a fuzzy mullet ish style, but she has blonde horizontal stipes at the bottom there. Wow.
• ABC leads us to believe JP won't propose.
• They also lead us to believe, via 300 confidence comments from Ben - that he is the weiner. I mean winner.
• Ok, does she even have pants on? She's just completely taken that right out of her wardrobe now.
• Keep bringing up the elephant mural. She reallllllly liked that.
• He is such a freaking dork.
• He has stomach sweat. Don't wear a gray shirt when it is 300 degrees outside.
• Her sister wanted to see the "real" Ashley with JP, which apparently involves monkey-like movements and "dog talk", so Ashley is giving it to her. Scripted.
• If that right there was what sister was looking for to determine if Ben was the right one, so help me, something is very wrong here. Like it is not even funny.
• Ben: this is a perfect example of why not to have your hair like you do. Sweat, curl, fuzz, makes your nostrils look way worse. Come on.
• Sister just yelled "ballsy" hehe
• Again, mom has something wrong. They just did a frontal shot and something is off. You know, like with Ames, you can just tell?
• It is too hot to touch/hug. I am pissed just watching it. If Benj touches me when I am hot, he gets a bitch-slap.
• Ben looks like a gay clown golfer in this little gettup. Whatever.
• Did he just say "swimmingly"? I had to google it, but yes, it is a word.
• Surprise! A helicopter!
• I am sooo ready for this 2 hours to be over.
• I have seen Fiji at least 4 times on a helicopter on this show. At least. Haven't I?
• He's giving her a breast exam again.
• Oh, she's giving herself one!
• She full on just told him she wanted to give him a handy.
• He has said "lube" at least 13 times.
• I want to scream "la la la la la la la la la" and fast forward. I'm afraid I will be charged pay-per-view later for a 'entertainment' video. Good hell.
• I need some hand sanitizer.
• As a side note, a patient called in today and was talking about a colonoscopy and said her last one was was "kind of foul". Don't use that verbiage when talking about a colonoscopy. Really.
• He is now sporting a mexi-stache.
• NERD
• He hopes things are "well received" - is that a sexual innuendo?
• Again with his hair.
• It is awkward when they say they love her she has to just look at them.
• She really is probably thinking she wish she could take off her denim Build-A-Bear shorts right about now. (Yes, I did finally see shorts).
• Ok, since we have almost seen her naked this season, minus the vag, she almost sealed the deal right there on the bed with her legs in a deadlock around him and practically no pants on.
• Did she just call him "Jape"?
• He looks halfway like a crossing gaurd in that shirt.
• But, it doesn't matter. And that is saying a lot, because I hate crossing gaurds.
• Every now and again her boobs look normal. Makes me wonder if she got a B job done mid-season.
• INSECURE
• He is too good for her.
• JP does show some balls here and call her out.
• Love him.
• But, then there are his eyebrows.
• Ah, a new see thru tunic.
• Aww, the letter/scrapbook is dang cute :)
• But, why, is it in a wicker basket?
• ***Men Tell All freaking funny how they make fun of Ames being a robot and not moving his head. so true!!!
• ***Men Tell All Ames looks like a Ken doll that got melted in the sun
• Yeah, nevermind on the mid-season boob job.
• Are Ben's fingernails painted?
• The jeweler must had been instructed to get the guys to tell thier 'love story'. No need to spill your guts to that guy. He's a creepy jewelry salesman.
• Aaaand, his little tapestry under the ring display is distracting.
• Ben = scrunch face in the sun.
• Ben's scrunch face = enlarged nostrils.
• I can't believe how many people are rooting for him.
• I'm crying over this shit.
• The "final rose" area is no good. Driftwood circle with fake flowers dotting it? Also, out to the side there is some sort of log raft surrounded by fake flora. She looks like she is being sacrificed.
• He has absolutely NO CLUE.
• Hair again: It must be 300 degrees. Sweat + wind reveals a bald spot on Ben.
• WHY ISN'T SHE STOPPING HIM????
• Holy AWKWARD!!
• Couldn't he see the look on her face??
• Wow. Bet he feels dumb.
• Nope, apparently, he feels pissed.
• Woah, way pissed.
• It's not possible to leave on good terms. True, but you are kind of being a jerk off.
• Love how he stops her and says not to sugar coat it. Her WHOLE LIFE is sugar coating. Remember when she told Ryan he was exactly what she wanted before she dumped him the 2nd time? I guess she is a cupcake.
• Good line: Good things don't end unless they end badly.
• That was over her head.
• My hell, don't cross him. He turned into a douche.
• JP = the safe choice? What does that even mean?
• Where the hell are they taking him in that raft? There is no land in front of them. Are they just going to dump him in the water? Drive him off the horizon?
• I wouldn't be surprised if he shanked the boat driver and came flying back to the sacrifice area and killed both Ash and JP the way he is acting.
• Ok, ok. Really, just borderline sore-loser, but kind of has a right I guess.
• ***commerical or something, I lost track Jake (old bachelor) is a DICK!!!!! Holy crap!
• Love JP!
• CH escorts the men directly from the plane to the sacrifice area - keeping things running - doesn't want anything to stall the end of the show at this point.
• Don't play a Titanic song.
• If I were Ashley (I'd be in counseling and possibly inpatient therapy) but I also would have told the guys NOT to wear suits. She owes them that much. Good hell. It has got to be 900 degrees at this point. If it weren't for the wind, they would burst into flame.
• She is pacing the sacrifice altar.
• I LOVE how JP lights up when he sees her.
• I'm unsure of her dress. Scrappy mermaid muppet.
• Damn, I am crying.
• They are attractive kissers. Her and Ben, not so much.
• She says "It was so good to see you walk down those steps" - Yes, my dear, yes, it was.
• Cue REO Speedwagon "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore" LOVE!
• Somehow, this made this jacked up season all worth it.
• Oddly, they immediately run into the ocean.
• I guess not so odd. It is hot as hell and she didn't pay for that dress.
• I bet that dress was 5 grand, at least.
• Oh my hell, there is a whole hour more of this!
• My dad was headed in to watch the news, when I broke the news that there was another hour.
• I told him he could stay and hang out with us.
• His response: "I'd rather sit naked in the bathtub with no water." And walked off.
• ***After the Final Rose
• Ben and Ash both greatly benefit from a freaking flat iron. Holy hell.
• Women are gasping in the audience for him. What. The. Hell.
• Her bangs are now on the other side. Good. She isn't fiddling with them now like she did the whole damn season. Wish someone would have caught that earlier.
• It somehow makes her resemble a penny. Not Abe Lincoln, but an actual penny.
• This litte half hour segment of "Take The $ and Run" Is kind of a disk-tease, isn't it.
• "To be honest" is one of her favorite things to say.
• ***Commercial How does that show Wipe Out not just flat out kill people? Really?
• Love that JP winks at her.
• Who the hell let CH on the set with his hair all puffy like that?
• Too much kissing.
• Too much open mouth kissing.
• My mom is crying.
• CH says he likes sports + mom is convinced he was/is in the military (there is no evidence to support this) = she is crying. Her dream man. While my dad sits naked in an empty bathtub.
• Ah, guess who has on the see thru tunic now? Sister bitch.
• WHY IS SHE CHANTING "TEAM CUPCAKE"?
• CH looks straight into the camera, almost desperately, and says "Thanks for watching this season."
• And, it's over. ***SIGH***

R.I.P.

Wrapped up, ready for her final resting place.

My beloved straightner died this week mid-use. She's been on her last leg for a while, but she full on popped and smoked. So sad. You don't even know how far we have come together. She enhanced my self esteem when nothing else could. Most times I won't leave home without her - even camping. Good thing I am on my way to accepting my curly hair cause I definately do not have $120 to replace it. You will be sorely missed.

Bachelorette week 9: Obama?

I got all set up: DP, notebook, pillows adjusted, turned on the tube and there sits Obama yapping. I was sick to my stomach, for many reasons, but I didn't know what to do with myself. After 30 minutes of frantically trying to find the show "live" online, he finally shut up and the show began. Phew. Not like I am excited or anything.

My sum-up is this: Ryan is back, and so is her half-shirt.

I couldn't help myself, so I googled "Ashley Hebert wardrobe" and got me some good content. I don't feel solid with my commentary this week, so I had to supplement. There are a lot of pics. Bear with me.

Crappy photo, but her classic "button up tied in the front with stretch dance pants" look.

Last years stupid seashell shoot I was talking about last week. She looks way different with blonde hair..... er something.

One of the many backless numbers she has pulled out. (I know that isn't her...)

Also, isn't her, but the indian fabric wrapped around her and made into a makeshift skirt, skirt.

See-thru man shirt. One of 400 this season. Note the white jeans.

This I actually wasn't that freaked out by. It looks better on the model, first of all. Ashley's was more fluffy. But then I saw that it is actually called a tutu and I was done with it. Threw me over the edge. And yes, I know this is a black woman, not Ashley. 

This is her "most amazing" date last year with Brad. We should have seen it coming. I think it is also a form of a tutu.

Pretty much a robe. I had a similar one I wore around the room on our HONEYMOON.

LMAO. This is when the dumb producers did that "make everything move fast in the background" shot. Whatever. See thru man shirt with stretch-pants and stripper shoes.

This just kills me. It looks like she is ready for a production of Polyanna. Really??

See thru shirt + stretch pants. She switches it up, however, with a belt.....

See thru man shirt - stretch pants....

This little diddy I cannot fathom. Why, for the love, would any girl put a cow-print on??? Even for Halloween? Even when you are 89 pounds??

Here, she transitions into a boy with a blazer and button up. Do people really think he is cute??


I am going to do a re-cap, just give me a second. I am entertained.

See thru + stretch pants.

1996 called, they want thier choker back.

FACE CHEWING

The velvet dress my sister had for prom in the 90's.

Shoulder padded blazer again.

Hey, I will meet you at Mt Timp Temple tonight at 8, ok?

Semi-normal tank.

Whatever with her clothes, but the jump is annoying.

First, the look on her face rubs me wrong. Really? Really, with that shirt/drape/tank thing.

Say it with me: "see thru man shirt + stretch pants"!!

The shirt that she thought was a shirtdress.

Another unbelievable outfit. Could walk onto the set of Grease blowing bubble gum and fit in as an extra easily.

There isn't anything even there - it is just fabric, draped. Worse below.

Whatever, but look below at what happens under the boob line.....holy hell. No one should ever wear a pant-suit, jump-suit, whatever the hell that is, let alone in animal print!!

Prom. 2001. Black suburb of L.A.

I don't know where the hell this even came from - good hell. It doesn't take a genius to see that onsies do not look good on adults......

Flashdance, anyone?

Poo brown see thru sweater with swimsuit on. That's it. No, I mean that is it. That is all she was wearing. 

Crotch. Just Ii time for the orphans to see.

 This asymmetrical little number actually looks better on Ash than the model.....

Tight in the wrong places, flappy in the wrong places.

Hate

Infamous indian half-shirt poncho, complete with side braid. She looks like freaking Pocahontas

Annoying face. At least she isn't eating it.

Does anyone, anyone at all, see anything wrong with this?

Man I wish you could see the rest of this outfit. The top ends there in a ruffle, midriff, and then black jean cutoffs, to the point of labia ready to come out. It was a winner.

And finally, the tie-die one piece dress. It wouldn't have been so bad had she had a trace of make-up on.

Sorry, I had to get that out of my system. Ok, now, on to the show.

• Obama scare
• Again, this is the most beautiful place she has ever been. (Really)
• And despite her previous 400 claims that Taiwan, Las Vegas, and Thailand was the best places to fall in love, no really, Fiji is.
• Didn't she go to Fiji last year? Don't they always end up in Fiji?
• Ohh, so NOW she has a good handle on what she wants. In the past week, she has made a complete 180.
• Man that elephant mural really stiked her fancy with Ben. I'd have sent him home.
• Ben's whole point on the show this year = get over his dad dying. Period.
• She looks like Minnie Mouse in her stupid outfit wandering around the flora.
• Writing in her notebook. She is contemplating getting deflowered x3 in the next 3 days. In fact, she is probably doing Kegels.
• She is so boring. I fall asleep halfway through saying her freaking name.
• ***commercial The "zoom-zoom" voice for that car commercial is starting to sound creepier than it used to. Is it just me?
• Another flowy see-thru number.
• Why must the camera crew ALWAYS find a lone bird flying overhead to film?
• Ryan just wants a free trip.
• No, he is serious.
• See this: http://ryanparksolar.com
• She is surprised, I really don't think she knew. Touche, ABC.
• He hates it. She is trying to hide it. "I know, right?!" he says.
• This watermelon popsicle I am eating is good. I debated on that and strawberry. Glad I chose the watermelon.

• "Knee-jerk response"?
• Hate to break it to you, she could probably tell you right now what she thinks. I can see is loud and clear on her chewed up face.
• Did her pursed lips (what is left of them), crossed arms, and lack of vocals give him a hint? No, Sargeant Sunshine leaves, with a little bounce in his step. Bless his heart.
• She almost looks pregnant in that shirt, (I use the term "shirt" loosely) and that it saying a lot for a 89 lb girl.
• Ryan really is pretty cute, until he opens his mouth and talks.
• ***commercial Loved that Target commercial with the Bocce ball and old people.
• Ben, don't put a flower in your hair.
• Don't have your hair long enough to put a flower in it.
• I'm glad all my dates were on normal couches and tables. None of this picnic on a pillow bullshit.
• His swimsuit is stupid. He looks like a douche. It looks like a Tetris game.
• The boat is called Belemare, which means "beautiful rash" in Fiji. That is what she's going to have after this week is over. 
• Would be funny if one or more of those $50 pillows from Pier One flew into the ocean in that 45 MPH wind.
• She feels protected. I love it. Anything could happen and she would be ok. Well, Ash, what about if one of the rest of the 80% of guys in the world who are bigger than him tried to "get" you? What if a shark jumped up and bit your face off? Huh?? Guaran-damn-tee baby Ben couldn't help ya.
• In a matter of 30 seconds: "Rub it on my back, or all over if you want." Now she is horizontal. Now he is, she is straddling his junk.
• Ben preforms a breast exam. A short one, but one nonetheless.
• She's lump free. In two ways.
• ***commercial Crazy Stupid Love with Steve Carell looks freaking funny. Love him. Miss The Office.
• ***commercial "Take the Money and Run"?? Great way to breed criminals ABC. Good one.
• HOLY HELL WHAT THE H is BEN WEARING? Man I wish I had a picture of that. See-thru (WHY) tunic TUCKED IN to khaki's!! NO!! Wow.
• He looks like a gay version of Robinson Crusoe.
• For once, her date tops her in stupid clothes. Wow. Someone needs to write that down. Don't worry, I got it.
• She acted like that just blew her mind that he pulled out her chair....
• I can't even listen I am so distracted by his ugliness. That shirt.
• She looks like hell. Frizzy hair. No makeup. Red nose. Tie-die dress.
• Hell, he does too. Must be humid. And they must be short on good applicants for the show....
• Chew on face.
• She hopes he will show her how he feels = she hopes he will have the sex with her.
• I hate how they all act like the "Fantasy Suite" is a huge surprise. We all know, they know, condoms are in place. Come on.
• JP and Ben have both picked her up from sitting positions and they both acted like it was fairly hard.
• Wow, this outfit of hers is a bad one too. Good hell, can't someone screen this?
• Why is she even bothering with bottoms at all?
• Cue the 50 yard dash.
• Euro-mullet. At least he recognizes it.
• Cons:  “This is going to be amazing! I can’t wait! I’ve never been in a helicopter before!”
  Ashley: “No? I have tons of times. In Brad’s season, when we weren’t in a hot tub, we were in a helicopter.”
• Cons: “Look at that massive reef! Have you ever seen anything like it?”
  Ashley: “Actually, I have. Yesterday, Ben and I snorkeled around the reef and saw all sorts of colorful fish. We saw yellow and blue and neon green and red and…”
• "It feels good to know I am going to be on his first helicopter ride". What the hell kind of a comment is that?
• LOL they fly over Ryan, who is standing barefoot on the reef. He is probably bleeding, like a wounded seal.
• Pretty sure she forgot about him.
• How the hell did he hike into that cave barefoot?
• I kind of like him, in a weird way.
• She looks better wet.
• The camera pans left into the bushes and I thought for sure Ryan's cheese face was going to be there watching.
• 108 houses?
• CHEW FACE
• He's out.
• ***commercial I am pretty sure that Obama was on the Cascade dishwasher commerical. No shit. I wish he would stay out of my night.
• ***commercial New Orleans = romance? No. It = poverty, mold, and boobs.
• They sure keep flashing the name of that resort a lot.
• Good hell I am glad someone put makeup on her tonight.
• She knows, he knows. She still wants to have sex, just "to see".
• She is always up for a meaningful one-night stand.
• Mismatched bikini's
• Interrupt
• I like him. He is so NORMAL.
• He tells her she is a pain in the ass without telling her she is a pain in the ass.
• Hmmm.....kind of a set up for him to be the next Bachelor....
• She reads the card to herself.
• She has said fo-ward 90 times. IT HAS AN 'R' IN IT. FORWARD. FORWARD.
• He sure got out of there quick, bounding like a startled deer. I bet he was packed before the date.
• The Bachelor Pad has sooooo much drama, I don't know that I could keep up.
• She realizes she is the first to ever be dumped mid-fantasy suite date, so she bow-legs over to Ryan to contemplate bringing him, too, on a fantasy date.
• Are those drawstring sweat shorts?
• Significantly less makeup this episode.
• He is nice.
• She tells him that despite the fact that he is a perfect guy and exactly what she is looking for, he isn't perfect and isn't what she is looking for.
• This is also a good set up for him to be the next Bachelor.
• ***commercial Mood enhancing curly fries? Kind of a bold statement. Possibly true.
• I can't even stand it. Now she has on an Indian print poncho + daisy dukes with a slit! Good hell!
• I feel bad, again, for JP. You know this won't work in the end. You know she picks him, and they will break up. Sad.
• Wow, a little hanky panky under water there.
• They travel alone to a secluded island, with all the rest of the cast and crew, of course.
• JP: TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT. YOU ARE THE ONLY THING HOLDING THIS SHOW TOGETHER. GIVE US A PEEK!!!!
• ***commercial (I know, more content in the commercials than the show) "A bra, uniquely designed to stay in place" It has rubber on the straps. Just like the last 5 bras I have had. Don't act like it is a breakthrough.
• WHERE ARE THE TABLES?
• There isn't even food there at that "dinner"
• She tells JP that "they" decided there was no need to go on. She left out the part where he just left and didn't ask her. They didn't decide anything; he did. And good for him, BTW.
• Her "dress" is safety-pinned. Goes to show you, IT ISN'T A DRESS. It is fabric, shuffled together over her privates, and pinned together.
• Too much of JP's upper thigh there. I always say, nothin worse that a man's upper thigh.
• Wow, they jumped right in to the sex there.
• 2 guys have full on left the show - by their own choice. Funny.
• Her sunburned arms give me a sense of satisfaction for some reason.
• CH gives meaningless nods as she pretends Constantine left because they were moving too slow. Not at all because she is a marginally attractive, insecure, high-maintenence whiner. Nope.
• CH: She really wants to drag this on and have a rose ceremony? We could have fit tonights content into a half hour.
• ASH: But Chris, I want to show the world my sparkly iridescent mini dress.
• CH: I can almost completely see your right boob. I will go tell the guys to wait another half hour in the pouring rain while you symbolically turn over Constantines picture and gaze off into the middle of nowhere. Good hell Ashley.
• I love that CH tells her she has to tell them this and that etc. BABYSIT.
• Must have been an awkward conversation between JP and Ben waiting for her to shut up and get down to the mock ceremony. "Soooo....how was it?"
• Again, CH tells the guys, there are things to say, but I have instructed Ashley that she has to say them.
• JP freaking hates her with other guys.
• Ashley's sister is right with the whole 'she can't just go with her gut feelings all the time' statement.
• Wow - that last clip wit Ash and Ben talking about toes = DRUNK!
• Note that the "Guys tell all" show is Sunday. Usually they add a week and have it on Monday.....It seems they have caught the "GET THIS SHOW THE HELL OVER" bus.

Sorry. Only mild substance this week. Hang in there.

Thanks for listening.

fantasy suite night eve

Trying to get hyped up for tomorrows stupid show, I threw Max in his life jacket and let him play with my fingernail polish. Nice shiner, eh?

CHEEK!

Notice my lovely hubby in the background scrubbing the tub!! :)

Here's to a hopefully even mildly entertaining show tomorrow. Stay tuned.