potty mouth

No, it's not what you think. Yes, I have a mouth like a sailor, but that has nothing to do with this post. I'm talking bathroom stuff, literally. Just a few random thoughts. My mom will hate this. I hate that my toilet say "Bemis" on it. Brand name or whatever, it isn't good for a toilet. I have never got the whole 'wipe front to back' procedure down. I honestly don't even know how it is possible. I do have a abnormally short torso, so you think it would be no big deal, but maybe I have short arms or something, because, man, I just cannot do it. I'm fine with it; never had any 'infection' issues, I'm just sayin. I always thought it was interesting how when you are doing a #1 and #2 at the same time, how sometimes, they both come out at once, and other times one lets the other go first. You feel me? Fascinating. I hope you were all enlightened.