Benji Sarah and Max: PLUS SIZE CRAP, CONTINUED

I imagined this would happen, but I was trying to be optimistic. This washed out colored parachute elastic waistband rubbish pretty much sums up my last 2 hours.

I am so pissed off right now.

Pet Peeves

--Truck nuts.
--When the 'poo water' splashes up and hits you in the butt.
--When you ask someone a question and they respond "Yes and No," ...
--Padded toilet seats.
--When you ask someone the date and they say "Yep, all day long!" Funny, smart ass.
--The phrase "fat & sassy"
--Anyone touching my nipple, especially, but not limited to, while I'm pregnant
--Spelling 'Jeff' "Geoff". Seriously. Seriously?
--Walking through someone else's fart.
--Porta-Potty's - but NO, not what you think. The nasty air that softly blows on your butt while you are sitting, that, I can't handle.
--Spelling Nicole "NicHOLE" Hole. HOLE. ?
--When guys have their hand in their pocket (especially sweats or basketball shorts) and are 'itching' or 'adjusting' or whatever they do and think for sure no one can see them. Come ON!!
--The 'auto' window feature in my car only working if you are rolling down.
--Public bathroom stalls with the door that opens IN. Not good when you are a biggie!
--The gas pump asking you, #1 to remove your card quickly, no matter how fast you do it, and #2 asking if you want a freaking car wash.
--That A-hole that when traffic is merging, speeds all the way to the front of the line and expects to 'get over' in front of everyone. No, you will not, my friend. I will total my car before that happens.
--People flicking my ponytail/bun.
--Bicyclers who act like a car and "blinker" with thier arm and drive in a car lane.
--The smell of ketchup.
--When singers, particularly guys, point to the sky while 'hitting' the 'high' note.

Happy Things

--Max's laugh
--Falling asleep holding hands.
--Max snuggling with me and not shuffling around.
--Gas station nachos, on occasion.
--The smell of a wood burning stove.
--Sharpie Fine Point Markers
--Fabric Softener
--Feeling the top of Benj's feet. They are baby soft!
--Laughing so hard it hurts. Making people laugh so hard it hurts them.
--Q-tipping and lotioning after a nice shower.
--Good lighting.
--Waking up only to find you have at least 2 or 3 more hours to sleep.
--The word 'Touché'. I'm not even really clear on what it means, but it's funny.
--Popping blackheads.
--Predictive text on the Google search.
--The smell of bleach and chlorine.

Benji Sarah and Max

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Sunday, June 7, 2009

PLUS SIZE CRAP, CONTINUED

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