The Bathroom Spider

So I wake up to go pee last night (one of the 300 times a night) and vaguely spot a spider on the ceiling. In my disoriented state, I thought I better get it. After half-falling asleep on the toilet, I thought, eh, I'm too tired. Then these thoughts start running through my head: What if it is a mommy spider and she is on her way to the nest to give birth to the spring batch of 1000 million baby spiders and then they will be all over my house and in my face and up my nose and in my cupboards, etc. I let this thought go a little too far, obviously. (Keep in mind I am really out of it). So I grab some TP and perch on the counter to get it and come down with what, AM EMPTY TISSUE. Where the hell did it go??! I looked around in a blur (I can't see with no contacts), looking down my shirt, on the floor, rug, counter, etc. By now I am wide awake. I never did find the stupid thing. I couldn't fall back asleep after that, frantically shuffling my hair around every few minutes, thinking maybe it was in there. I ended up taking a 4th of an ambien at 2 a.m. and going into work late. Damn Spider.