Girl with a tattoo and pink stripe of hair at church: I judged you. In my mind you were a little shit. Probably slutty. You definitely had no place being at church. I spent half of sacrament meeting thinking about you and how many stupid things you've probably done and how you probably won't get anything out of the talk being given because you probably have a bad attitude. Fast forward 10 years: Did I notice she came alone to church because her dad left her when she was 4 and her mom was a deadbeat at home? How awesome is it that you had the courage to come by yourself! Did I get anything out of that sacrament talk because I was too busy being incredibly judgemental?? Who I am to label her as a slut? A little shit? I have NO CLUE what is going on in her life.
Sister who lets her kids have treats: I judged you. I thought to myself I'd never let my kids have that much sugar (I know, funny, right? Coming from a fattie). I thought my kids will have a balanced diet and only get treats sparingly. Fast forward to post-Max. Good hell, whatever they will eat is fine. Currently I'm going on day 2 of Max refusing to eat anything but M&M's. I don't even know where he is getting them. I'm doing the best I can, and I'm sure she was too.
This one is hard. Mom at Target during the day, full hair and nails done, perfect tiny body and cute clothes: I judged you. You must be a rich snob. Obviously you don't have a job - you spend your time tanning and shopping and at the gym. You have no idea how hard life is because you have an easy life. I haven't had a lot of real life experience with this, and these people who appear this way still semi piss me off, but lets just say I got to know one of them. Maybe she has an eating disorder. She struggles to keep weight on. She never goes to the gym because she feels dumb because she is so skinny. She suffers from depression. She doesn't tan, her skin turns golden while she is playing with her kids outside. She tries to go in the sun often to help her mood. Maybe she is in debt, like everyone else, but her husband is working hard and she has no other options but to stay home and raise her kids. She goes to Target during the day for something to do. She has to stay home with the kids, but it is hard for her, so she tries to get out, and often she lands at a shopping center, mostly to browse and have a change of scenery. Who the hell am I to judge her?
Nerd in high school: I judged you. You talk funny and you don't have clear skin. You don't play any sports, you aren't smart, you aren't cute. I wasn't going to give you the time of day. You probably use drugs. I bet you don't shower everyday. You always eat school lunch. You don't take the bus or drive, you walk. You do janitorial work after school. You wear cheap pants and ill-fitting shirts. Fast forward to now: This kid has tourettes, which makes him a huge outcast. People, especially high school people, don't understand tourettes, they think it is a funny thing where the person swears a lot. Little do they know he has no control over it. The ticks actually hurt they become so forceful. He would love to play sports, but doesn't have the money to. Plus, he likes other things. Things that aren't "cool". His parents are divorced and he doesn't have enough money to go out to lunch every day or to buy a car. He is working his ass off everyday after school to earn money to help his family buy freaking groceries.
Co-worker who isn't LDS: I judged you. I don't even know why. You drink coffee. You wear tank tops and you have a beer on the weekend. Why, WHY does this matter? It doesn't. You are a phenomenal worker. You are a fantastic mom and you are sweet as can be. I probably drink more caffeine than you in my DP. You are honest and all the patients love you when they come in. So why does it matter that you have a beer? Or a tat? It doesn't.
Bad things happen to good people. Everyone is good, if even just a little. Drugs happen. Addiction happens. People make mistakes. Not everyone is the same as you. People have different work ethics. People didn't grow up the way you did. They do things different. Things happen. That is LIFE. Who the hell are we to pass judgement?
My new goal is to just assume everyone is doing their best.