judge not

I've been on kind of a roller coaster the last few weeks, but one thing that has been on my mind is judgement. I never thought I judged anyone more than the next person does, but the more I think on it, the more I realize how judgemental I have been. I read this article a few weeks ago (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kara-gebhart-uhl/mom-judgments_b_1319775.html), which is funny, but it opened my eyes a little! I hope I don't offend anyone. Let me share some of my version:

Girl with a tattoo and pink stripe of hair at church: I judged you. In my mind you were a little shit. Probably slutty. You definitely had no place being at church. I spent half of sacrament meeting thinking about you and how many stupid things you've probably done and how you probably won't get anything out of the talk being given because you probably have a bad attitude. Fast forward 10 years: Did I notice she came alone to church because her dad left her when she was 4 and her mom was a deadbeat at home? How awesome is it that you had the courage to come by yourself! Did I get anything out of that sacrament talk because I was too busy being incredibly judgemental?? Who I am to label her as a slut? A little shit? I have NO CLUE what is going on in her life.

Sister who lets her kids have treats: I judged you. I thought to myself I'd never let my kids have that much sugar (I know, funny, right? Coming from a fattie). I thought my kids will have a balanced diet and only get treats sparingly. Fast forward to post-Max. Good hell, whatever they will eat is fine. Currently I'm going on day 2 of Max refusing to eat anything but M&M's. I don't even know where he is getting them. I'm doing the best I can, and I'm sure she was too.

This one is hard. Mom at Target during the day, full hair and nails done, perfect tiny body and cute clothes: I judged you. You must be a rich snob. Obviously you don't have a job - you spend your time tanning and shopping and at the gym. You have no idea how hard life is because you have an easy life. I haven't had a lot of real life experience with this, and these people who appear this way still semi piss me off, but lets just say I got to know one of them. Maybe she has an eating disorder. She struggles to keep weight on. She never goes to the gym because she feels dumb because she is so skinny. She suffers from depression. She doesn't tan, her skin turns golden while she is playing with her kids outside. She tries to go in the sun often to help her mood. Maybe she is in debt, like everyone else, but her husband is working hard and she has no other options but to stay home and raise her kids. She goes to Target during the day for something to do. She has to stay home with the kids, but it is hard for her, so she tries to get out, and often she lands at a shopping center, mostly to browse and have a change of scenery. Who the hell am I to judge her?

Nerd in high school: I judged you. You talk funny and you don't have clear skin. You don't play any sports, you aren't smart, you aren't cute. I wasn't going to give you the time of day. You probably use drugs. I bet you don't shower everyday. You always eat school lunch. You don't take the bus or drive, you walk. You do janitorial work after school. You wear cheap pants and ill-fitting shirts. Fast forward to now:  This kid has tourettes, which makes him a huge outcast. People, especially high school people, don't understand tourettes, they think it is a funny thing where the person swears a lot. Little do they know he has no control over it. The ticks actually hurt they become so forceful. He would love to play sports, but doesn't have the money to. Plus, he likes other things. Things that aren't "cool". His parents are divorced and he doesn't have enough money to go out to lunch every day or to buy a car. He is working his ass off everyday after school to earn money to help his family buy freaking groceries.

Co-worker who isn't LDS: I judged you. I don't even know why. You drink coffee. You wear tank tops and you have a beer on the weekend. Why, WHY does this matter? It doesn't. You are a phenomenal worker. You are a fantastic mom and you are sweet as can be. I probably drink more caffeine than you in my DP. You are honest and all the patients love you when they come in. So why does it matter that you have a beer? Or a tat? It doesn't.  

Bad things happen to good people. Everyone is good, if even just a little. Drugs happen. Addiction happens. People make mistakes. Not everyone is the same as you. People have different work ethics. People didn't grow up the way you did. They do things different. Things happen. That is LIFE. Who the hell are we to pass judgement? 

My new goal is to just assume everyone is doing their best.

owls + things about us

I like owls. Cutesy owls. Cartoon owls on onsies. Real ones are ok too, but I'm not very fond of birds in general.

But I do like owls and I'll tell you why.

#1. Max looks like an Owl.
#2. Owls are one of the very few bird species where the female is bigger, more colorful and more aggressive than the males.  I say damn strait to that.
#3. Owls are associated with wisdom. In fact, a group of owls is called a parliament, study or wisdom  (I like to learn what groups of animals are called).
My personal theory their silent nature? People tend to think you are smart until you open your mouth and start talking....
But, I want to work on listening more and talking less. I want to be wiser.

Also, I like  Big Fat Tacos from Del Taco. I really hate saying "Big Fat Chicken Taco" when I order. I feel like a cow.

A few things about us (haven't done this in a while):

Benj:
-He is studying criminal justice. He can't get enough CIA, SWAT, SEALS, guns, assasinate, stealth, sneak up on a bad guy and blow his ass up, stuff. His dream would be to be in a bullet-proof vest, draped in a gilly suit with whatever gun is the coolest (I don't know...) on a hilltop and snipe bad guys for the rest of his life.
-He likes cheesecake.
-He likes long baths.
-He hates toothpaste remnants in the sink.
-He is a good daddy and Max loves him to death.
-His sleeping meds KNOCK HIM OUT. Like annoyingly. If I ever had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night, I'd be driving myself. {insert: I have had to do that before when I was preg and it pissed me off.}

Max:
-He has 3 horrible cowlicks. Back middle, back lower right side, front right side.
-He likes to cross his feet (see previous post).
-He has crappy skin. EXZEMA city.
-He has had like 30 natural poops since he was born. The rest have been suppository/laxitive induced.
-He loves to watch movies, but is loving to read lately.
-He freaking likes the park, especially the slide.
-He is mechanical. He likes to fit things together, line them up, play with screwdrivers.
-He is getting an attitude.
-He loves other kids. Especially his cousin Anna.

Me:
-I've had a cough for a good month. I pee my pants frequently. Daily.
-I've recently discovered Pandora. It's ok.
-I play on my phone too much (Draw Something, anyone?)
-I like making people laugh.
-I've completely given up trying to be a skinny blonde. I'm a fat brunette.
-I HATE, HATE my apartment. Even Max screams "NO" when we come around the corner to come home. Want. Out. Now.
-My job has been stressful lately.
-Good lighting is essential to my mental health. I found out the lamp in my front room works last night and I already feel happier. I love good lighting. Like almost going to cancel my therapy appointment about it.
-I'm completely addicted to Pinterest.
-I just went through the process of finding a new babysitter for Max (thanks LIZ!!) and it stressed me out bad. I just coughed, peed, cried, and made phone calls for like a week. But we are all good now.

What we've been up to

My sweet funny grandma Gloria passed away in Feb.

Caught Max in some cute sleeping positions....

Max got a new slide

He's been LOVING the warm weather so we can go to the park!!

He likes to cross his feet. Hehe

We went to Shakey's Pizza yesterday and he thought he'd died and gone to heaven. He literally sat and played on that car game (which wasn't even working) for like 40 minutes straight.

We watched Nemo for the first time. He got excited seeing the real fish @ the pet store last night!

Max and Anna - they love each other!

first world problems

Some of you may have seen these before, but I am reposting because I think it is funny, and kind of eye-opening.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS:

• My hand is too fat to shove into the Pringles container so I am forced to tilt it.
• I had too much for lunch am now I am tired.
• I forgot to bring my phone with me when I went to poop and I was bored the whole time.
• I'm kind of hungry, but my roomate has guests over, so if I go into the kithcen I am going to have to introduce myself.
• I have to find my own girlfriend because my cultrure doesn't practice arranged marriages.
• I accidentally clicked on iTunes and had to wait 2 minutes for it to open before I could close it.
• My GPS made me drive through the ghetto.
• I'm trying to text at the red lights but I keep hitting all the green lights.
• I can't hear the TV while I am eating crunchy snacks.
• The Domino's pizza tracker isn't working. Now I don't know when to put my pants on.
• My laptop os low on battery, but my charger is over there.
• I tried to spread cold butter on my toast and the bread ripped.
• I used my last Pandora skip for the hour and the next song is even worse.
• I'm staying with relatives who don't know thier WIFI password.
• I don't have enough dip for my chips, but if I open another container, I won't have enough chips for my dip.
• I burnt the roof of my mouth.
• This software update requires that I restart my computer.
• There isn't enough room on my plate, the peas keep rolling off.
• I should probably go exercise, but my hair looks really good today and I don't want to ruin it.
• My roomate ate a hotdog without a bun. Now I have an uneven ratio or dogs-to-buns.