The Bathroom Spider

So I wake up to go pee last night (one of the 300 times a night) and vaguely spot a spider on the ceiling. In my disoriented state, I thought I better get it. After half-falling asleep on the toilet, I thought, eh, I'm too tired. Then these thoughts start running through my head: What if it is a mommy spider and she is on her way to the nest to give birth to the spring batch of 1000 million baby spiders and then they will be all over my house and in my face and up my nose and in my cupboards, etc. I let this thought go a little too far, obviously. (Keep in mind I am really out of it). So I grab some TP and perch on the counter to get it and come down with what, AM EMPTY TISSUE. Where the hell did it go??! I looked around in a blur (I can't see with no contacts), looking down my shirt, on the floor, rug, counter, etc. By now I am wide awake. I never did find the stupid thing. I couldn't fall back asleep after that, frantically shuffling my hair around every few minutes, thinking maybe it was in there. I ended up taking a 4th of an ambien at 2 a.m. and going into work late. Damn Spider.

A few tidbits

Well, I just keep thinking of random things that I want to say, so here are a few of them:

I sure hope that by the time I have to have a mammogram that someone somewhere has come up with a better method of testing, other than slamming your girls into a large metal clamp and squeeze. Seriously, we have freaking computers that will do your taxes, write your thesis, call your mom, and order you a mail order bride in Hong Kong all at once. We have MRI, CT, Ultrasound, Laparoscopic everything, and we are still being reduced to the clamp and sweeze method. Someone, somewhere has to be close, right?

I got in my truck this morning and the steering wheel felt sticky-ish and dirty. Some sort of mystery substance on it. Who knows what Benj was working on. I hate that.


My mom and dad are out of town, so I am taking care of thier animals, Olivia (my dog), Sister and Heart-beat-less (cats). I went to visit them tonight and thought I'd share some pictures and insights. Olivia is so loving and sweet. She licks and licks and rubs and is just all over you. I border-line feel dirty and violated after visiting her. The second pic is me trying to get one while she is 'on' me. She's just too shuffly!!







Then the cats. Sister we have had for, oh, about 5-10 years (who's counting?). She is pretty much a big brat (as you can tell by her body language). She was an ok cat until Olivia came around. Olivia thinks it is a big funny game to keep Sister off the ground. Anytime she comes down from the windowseal or whatever, Olivia chases and screws around with her until she jumps back up again. Hell, now that I think of it like that, I'd be pissed off all the time too. Anyway, she just sulked around and growled for dinner the whole time I was there.



Then, there is Heart-Beat-Less. My genius neice Macie named her. I am not being a smart ass, I seriously think it is an awesome name for a cat. I called it the Handi-snack before it had a name because she is cross-eyed and kind of slow. She is sweet though. She kept putting her little paws up on my back and licking my arm. I love cat licks, like soft little patches of sandpaper.

FHE

So for FHE this week, we went bowling. I was pretty excited. I have been playing bowling on the Wii and was pretty darn good. I had confidence. I had poise. Even my purse looked like a bowling bag. My head was in the game. Turns out I suck. I think it has something to do with actually throwing a 8-12 pound ball, not just pretending. That is just too physical for me.


We had a great time though! Grandma Tammy won by a mile. She has good form.


Here are some pics:





Benj


Benj and Dallan






Wesley and Kolemen




Kolemen, Brandy, Me and Domonique


All the 'action' pics are sideways and I don't want to figure out how to turn them to post them, so this is all folks!

Well, to sum up the last few weeks..... 

I am super grateful for tampons,

Benj and I suck with money,

and I think handicapped people are freaking awesome.

The first two are self explanatory. The last, however, I will explain at a later date (I am waiting for pictures to accompany the story).

So to hold you over...

One of our favorite things to do is hang out with Owen and Anna (like I've said before..). Here are a few pics from our latest 'hang out'.

Isn't she adorable!? I just want to eat her up!

Two of my favorite people!

MMMMmmmmm!

More please!!!!!

Hehe....our poor kids!

Benj was totally cracking himself up!

I walked in from the other room and find this....