sandbags?

I've thought this for a long long time, years even, that with all the technology and advancements in the world today, we are still going with the sandbags as the best way to combat a flood. Robotic hysterectomy? No prob. Laser eye surgery? Ok. Wanna blow up a specific building in Pakistan from your headquarters in Chicago remotely? Check. But, any good ideas to replace the sandbag? No, not yet. I came across the article below, via The Onion News (love!), and it pretty much sums up my thoughts.

Bags Filled With Sand Still Most Advanced U.S. Anti-Flood Technology
August 5, 2008 ISSUE 46•52 ISSUE 44•32
WASHINGTON—Filling a large number of bags with sand and then placing them side by side next to a body of water remains the nation's most sophisticated method for flood prevention, a two-month FEMA study concluded Tuesday. According to FEMA's findings, floods—natural disasters that have occurred since the beginning of time yet still destroy hundreds of American homes each year—are most often combated by scooping clumps of sand into burlap sacks and binding them with pieces of twine. "Perhaps bigger bags are the answer," FEMA head R. David Paulison said. The second-most effective U.S. anti-flood technology remains getting in the car and driving to an area that is not currently being flooded.

How are you doing/feeling lately? Awhile ago you posted about your depression and anxiety. You seem to post funny things all the time - is it just your way of handling it?

Thanks for asking. Blogging is definately an 'out' for me. It helps me clear my mind, be creative, and have some kind of hobby. It sounds dumb, but I seriously thrive off of people commenting on my posts! I know a lot of people check my blog, they tell me all the time, so I am always waiting for someone to say something, anything! Let me know you are out there! But there are good days and bad.......I'm not suicidal, so that is good! Thanks for asking. I'll just keep on keepin on.

Ask me anything, I double dog dare you. Bring it.

Max is ONE!

Max was born Jan 22, 2010 at 7:39 AM=

HE IS ONE YEAR OLD TODAY!!

See that spikey ball? Yup, $3.99. That's his present from his poor parents. He loved it!

Cute cake huh?

This day a year ago: I was in a magnesium haze, Max was in the NICU getting all sorts of testing and we didn't know what was wrong with him, and the journey began! He's healthy as a horse and as normal as can be. My little 8 pound preemie! I can't believe it's been a year!

Happy Birthday buddy! We love you!!!

Silly Max

He can crawl, but he prefers this, it's faster. Crazy kid. Nope, not walking yet.

blast from the past

Well, I was flipping back through some earlier posts and decided to link you up with some of my favorites. There was the phoney camping waves and other musings, the idiot post, the Aunt Flo, the BIF, The Smart Idea, and the ever popular Randomness that entertains people near and far. Enjoy!

How do make your blog page so freaking cute? I am always amazed and secretly jealous. What are your secrets?

Interesting that you ask that - I am, as we speak, fretting over it. Background too busy, 3 columns too much, what font, what color, etc. Blah. THANK YOU for noticing my efforts! My favorite feature, the blinkies on the top right, were made by a friend (thanks Carly). I really don't have any secrets. I just see things I like on other blogs and try to do them on mine.... :)

Ask me anything, I double dog dare you. Bring it.

sunday morning randomness

just a thought

Random Christmas-NewYears Pics

2.5 degrees outside. It got into the negatives but I was too lazy to find my camera to take a picture of it. This is the first time I remember ever being pissed that it was so cold.

Let me explain. We usually don't have our own room due to too many people being there. This year, we did get one, which was FANTASTIC! We did, however, get the 'Cowboy' Room and this is some of the decor. If you know me at all, you know I went to sleep semi-pissed.

Benj, teaching Max how to whoop some A

The snow was up to the window sills! Like 4+ feet on the deck! Awesome!

Snow tunnel digging...

I know Max, isn't it fantastic?

New Years toast!

Random pics from the Cabin @ New Years. The 25+ year old boys digging a snow tunnel...

My gift!!! :)

Looking at the angels at Marnee's Christmas Eve

Opening a present at Marnee's Staring at it...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I sure as hell hope 2011 is better than 2010!!!!!

What would be the ONE thing that could make you Giddy?

Hmmm, I'm a hopeless romantic. I for sure am most giddy when Benj is being sweet and romantic and pampering me. When he treats me like I'm the only woman in the world and pays attention to me. Even when I just know he's been thinking about me. I could go on and on; but catch the drift?

Ask me anything, I double dog dare you.

Why do you love your dear friend Amanda soooo very much?

Oh Amanda! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways! You pick up my slack at work. You listen. You laugh at me (when you are supposed to). You have never once failed me. You were a narrater with me for the Shakespeare play in 4th grade. Your allergies amuse me. You understand me. You are trustworthy. You are a good example to me. I like your hubby, he's pretty funny. I love you!

Ask me anything, I double dog dare you.

Why must you use such a big arrow? No, really my question to you is...what would you say is your BIGGEST pet peeve..? I know and have seen your list, but if it came right down to it, what pisses you off the most????

Wow, it is hard to say. It is different on any given day. What consistently pisses me off are these two things:When I get hurt (stub toe, bang elbow, etc) and someone immediately says "What Happened?" or "Are you ok?". Why does this piss me off? I don't know, but I sure do want to scream the F word at them. My freaking toe hurts, don't talk to me for a freaking minute. And second, people who know damn well they are going to have to merge (or are in the turning lane by the high school) and speed up to get in front of you. I've gotten so mad that I've contemplated violence. Sorry, nothing big or witty, just that. Thanks for the question: This is fun!

Ask me anything, I double dog dare you.

Do you and Benji want to try to set up a time to hang out and play games?

Dang, it didn't work, I don't know who posted this! I guess if it were generic questions it would work. I'll leave it there for anyone to ask random questions.

Ask me anything, I double dog dare you.

new feature

So, I have this new thing I'm trying out over there on the sidebar

where you can ask me any question you want..... Someone try it and we'll see if it works... ! I'm not sure how the response gets to you, so someone give it a whirl.

Miscellaneous

Really, my whole blog should be called miscellaneous. I have a few thoughts from today. .I've been wanting 3 columns-slash-to move to the 'new' blogger template stuff-slash-blah and never can seem to get it how I want it. I've just gone ahead and done my best. I can't have my personalized cute fonts anymore (can I?) and I am pretty P.O'd about that. Otherwise, here is the 'new' me.

If you are a guy and have bangs = REG FLAG. Don't.

We took Max to the pet store tonight and Benj saw a tarantula, whichc he hates, and the sign on his cage said: "African Tarantula (with enlarged mandible)". He seriously almost came unglued. I think he may have come close to crying. What the hell does that even mean???

Our friend Troy is a surveyer and said the other day he was walking through someones backyard/field, and the dad came out yelling at him wondering what the hell he was doing. I got thinking, and I'd do the same thing. An Benj goes, "Well, he had on his work vest," Like that makes it better. Any random schmuck could put a vest on and be all creepy and walk in your backyard.

Has anyone else heard of "R.S." (I'm not talking Relief Society...) It came up in conversation today and I had never heard of it before..... (it means "retard strength". Don't hate me for saying "retard") I just thought it was wierd. Apparently, they are super strong.

Me and my sister were talking about bottles and when to stop doing bottles at night, etc., and I thought, hell, I want a bottle at night. Wouldn't it be cool to mix up some Quik, slap it in a bottle, and drink it while falling asleep? No spills, hell, you could just drop it anywhere on the bed when you are done. Let it fall out of your limp, half sleeping hands, even. Sounds a little bit better than fantastic to me.
And finally: Max could eat this for breakfast, lunch and dinner, snack, eat it until he throws up, until his stomach full on bursts. He loves, loves it.

11 step program

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

shitty day

No, literally. Got a message last night that the sewage was backed up at work. Like coming up out of all our toilets, etc., and that we were closing clinic for today. Ok. Soo..... I spent an hour last night and the day today calling and rescheduling every one of our 116 patients that were scheduled for today. My nostrils burn. PG City, Berts Waterworks (Does yours?), and the CUC handyman were there all day fiddling around. A backhoe, 5 toilets out, and a few thousand dollars later: 2 solid feet of packed soiled diapers, tampons, and paper towels. {What IDIOT flushes diapers???} The heavy duty snake couldn't even penetrate it. Stink. Upset patients. Cleaning crew washing carpets. They put large fans on to dry the washed carpets, which really, was just not good. Instead of shit hitting the fan, the fan hit the shit; and blew the stench all the freak over the place. On the way home: pigeon diarrhea on my windsheild as I went under the overpass. Like a good 8 inch splatter. Home: guess who's toilet is clogged? I can honestly, whole-heartedly say, today was a shitty day.

silly boys

Benj teasing Max with a laser light......